With Chickens Like These

Hopefully not coming to a UPN time slot near you (and we all know UPN stands for Under Paid Niggas), With Friends Like These.

Starring real life hip hop star Trina, With Friends Like these...focuses on the trials, loves and tribulations of fictional character Cleo Taylor (25) as she runs a Miami beauty salon named Hair We Are. When we first meet Cleo she is the owner for one of Miami's top modeling agencies. With beauty, money and brains, she seems to have it all going for her. On what turns out to be a nightmare morning, Cleo awakens to find her house completely stripped of everything by the IRS. An agent explains to a stunned Cleo, that her longtime boyfriend/partner ran their agency into the ground by embezzling and not filing any taxes. With nowhere to go, Cleo turns to her two childhood friends for help- Suzanne Good (24) a conservative, Caucasian and legal assistant, and Kylie Davis (25) a dizzy and gorgeous Dominican/Black model.

Just as everything is ripped away from Cleo, a miracle happens just as quickly. Cleo learns that her distant Aunt Stephanie has died and left her a beauty salon in need of a lot of work. Waiting in the wings to take over her salon is a former nemesis of Cleo's aunt, Naomi Gladstone. Owner of a chain of salons targeted toward African-American Women, Naomi (40) is curvy, sassy and comes with lots of attitude and insults toward Cleo. But Cleo will not give up that easily. With the help of her friends, her aunt's ghost, a former stripper hairstylist and a diva stylist named Franklin, Cleo is ready to take on Naomi and the world in her new venture.

Thirst No More

Miles Thirst, the Sprite character introduced in February 2004 by WPP Group's Ogilvy & Mather, is being phased out of the brand's advertising, sources said, and the company is poised to invite Ogilvy and undisclosed others to present new ideas and a tagline to replace the 11-year-old "Obey your thirst" positioning. Coca-Cola spent $25 million in U.S. media on Sprite brands from January to May 2005, per Nielsen Monitor-Plus. Ogilvy here referred calls to the client. A Coke representative declined to comment. The moves are a precursor to a complete overhaul as brand executives mull a 2006 celebrity-driven brand relaunch with a package change and new flavor profile, sources said. Sources said NBA star LeBron James (paired with Miles in work currently on air) would continue to appear in ads for Sprite.

(source courtesy of my latest AIM buddy, James)

All I have to say is its about fucking time! Could you believe this mofo has his own website? What, are people supposed to post on message boards about the crisp taste of Spit? (yes, Spit)All of this added to the joy of Free and AJ's run finally being over at 106 to the WB finally getting rid of that blackface jiggin' frog. It's been a great week for me! But yo, I had no idea Howard from The Cosby Show was Miles' voice. My lawd, we all have a little extra coon in us waiting to escape.

Diddy Tapped To Host, Kanye To Perform A New Single From Late Menustration, and Lil' Jon Scores At The VMA's

Missy Elliott, Kanye West, John Legend and Ciara were all nominated for multiple awards at the 2005 MTV Video Music Awards. The 22nd annual awards show is being held in Miami, Florida for the second year in a row, and will be hosted by Sean "P. Diddy" Combs. Kanye West is also slated to perform a new single from his highly anticipated sophomore album Late Registration.

Missy Elliot and Gwen Stefani lead the pack this year with a total of six nominations, while Kanye West, John Legend, Ciara and Ludacris received three nominations and Snoop earned two. The Game, 50 Cent, Common, Alicia Keys, Amerie and The Ying Yang Twins were also nominated for awards.

It was also announced that this year will be the first year that the VMAs will be scored with original music composed by Lil Jon and producer Mike Shinoda, of 3-time VMA winner Linkin Park. "Every year we have to out do ourselves and this year is no exception - the VMAs will be experienced in more places and on more platforms than ever before in our history," said Christina Norman, President of MTV said in a statement. "Between Diddy, who is the ultimate showman & entertainer, and the diverse roster of performers already locked in, this show is already shaping up to be an unforgettable end of summer bash."

Quick Buzz Notes

- Yes, that is a pair of draws with the infamous "crack is wack" one-liner. Who wants a pair?

- For only $2.49 you can whoop that trick everytime he/she calls your phone.

- This is sorta amusing. In a I-used-to-have-my-own-Saturday-morning-cartoon now-I'm-a- gospel-gangsta sorta way.

- Finally I would like to say that this is white trash at its finest.

I hope this shit ain't real.


I Was Gonna Wash My Ass, Then I Got High . . .

Ricky looks like he should be banging on the bonjo's for Arrested Development? Mr. Wendel yeeaaaahhh... (Suezette is crazy!)

Fresh's Two Cents On Wannabe Net Celebrities

Yo, what's up with some of these cats on the internet now days? I like to refer to them as net celebrities. The type of folks who are popular online but NOBODY know their ass exists in real life. Come off of it! If you feel like this is a diss towards you than you softer than that nigga who cried his ass off the football field the other day. Seriously, I'm not digging the "elite cliques" that I've been noticing lately. I realize back then they didn't link me, now I'm hot they all want to (that shit didn't rhyme at all) and I don't like it one bit. I used to email folks to say "hello" and "I enjoy your site, keep up the good work" and these negroids didn't even reply back to the girl! Well, all except these lovely two ladies. Now I go to check my inbox and see tons of emails from they ass. I'm confused!

I've been the same site from day one when I had Lil Jon's monkey ass as a header and was mistaken for a fan site. So please stay of the t-i-p of my clit. Spam busters bitch!

Moving along, someone tipped me off that Free will no longer be hosting 106 & Park along side A.J. anymore and I'm elated. Yes! Now if they can only get rid of his ass along with Melyssa Ford, oops, "Melyssa", I would be one happy negro. I would be even happier if they redecorated that damn set.


Rappers Who Look Slightly Retarded

So I'm sitting in front of the idiot box the other day watching Wack City in total disgust. First of all, where in the hell did they find this Mad Linx character? The muthafucka I had the accident with (I got a lot of animosity about that whole ordeal, sorry) can do a better job hosting. Hell, AJ's rasta-impasta looking ass can run laps around his ass. Yeah he's alright but he's not real. True, Tigger did get on my last fuckin nerves with all that "cousin" shit (its bad enough most white people think we're "all related" and "look alike") but this nigga takes the cake. He's not bad on the eyes or nothing like that but looks can't cover lameness. Sorry.

Anyways, I started to notice a pattern that made my eyes bleed. What's up with all these rappers who look slightly retarded? And why most of them gotta be from my region, down south? Hell to the nah!

Webbie - Ahhh, my first victim. What can I say? This negroid looks like the love child of Juvenile + Mannie Fresh. He very well might be with him being from the N.O. and all. First he tells a girl to give him that pussy now he showers her with accolades by calling her a bad bitch. How lovely.

Slim Thug - Fresh loves a tall glass of water. Saying that I mean I have a "thing" if you want to call it that for men who are 6'4" and up. So as I was strolling through the mall last year around Super Bowl time I couldn't help but notice a 6'6" brother from a far. The closer he got the more I started to think to myself (and as Charlie Murphy would say) "wow, this nigga got a big fuckin' head". I didn't know at the time he was indeed "famous" until later on that day. Now I would classified Slim Thugga as being that quiet, soft retard. For example, the one who plays on the football team who's cool with everyone but is in the remedial classes on the end of the hall. Everybody went to high school with one! Nigga got the same teacher all day long . . .

Mike Jones - It doesn't help that he is always repeating his name every other bar. I wonder about him sometime.

Lil Wayne - Where have I seen this face before? Now I'm not going to sit here and front like I've never listened to a Lil' Wayne cd before, so whatever. But I've always thought that this young punk looked pretty damn ugly. My best friend in high school thought totally opposite of myself and was straight sick with his martian looking ass! This girl had Lil' Wayne sheets, posters, shirts, and other misc. bull. Over time however she's calmed down with her love but damn. Why?

Jacki-O - Once again, another rapper who looks dumb as hell. I'm going to put Jacki in a category similar to Slim's. Everyone also went to school with that one chick who could dress her ass off but was dumber than a brick. Walking around in Gucci loafers but can't find the adverb in a sentence.

Ying Yang Twins - No comment.

So, did I miss anybody?


1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and get them sit ups right and / Tuck your tummy tight and do your crunches like this / Give head, stop breathe, get up, check your weave . . . .

Now, I'm not saying anything about being blessed with the thickness - - hell, Hollywood needs more, but ummm, that bathing suit picture is just wrong.

That girl will be on that show one day playing in a very non-important role. One day.

Jesus Is The Homie

Yeah, shit's been dead around here for a day or so. That's because ya girl-girl (been listening to too much Dipset kids, sorry) has been down and out lately thanks to a lil' automobile accident. I'm okay though so you don't have to pray for me like Omarion. No major damage was done to me or the car, but it does have a FUGLY ass scratch on the back. Not to mention I tried to patch that shit up to no avail, oh well!

Maybe I should write a rap song about posting with my jaw wired shut. Even though it isn't, you know. Throw Wac Arnold's name in a few times and make some extra dough.


Buzz Notes

Yeah, What He Said
What happens when you mix together five Hispanic looking crack babies, you get the non hit making group B5. Besides shopping at the Salvation Army, their hobbies include walking girls home from school, screaming, dancing atop buses, and sounding a damn mess. They all look like rejected models for the weekly Wal-Mart newspaper insert. Please send them back to the orphanage from which they came.

I'm glad someone feels the same way as myself. We all have Puffy to thank for this.

Nelly Becomes To 10,000th Rapper To Ink A Shoe Deal
Reebok is becoming as much of a music label as it is a shoe company. Why haven't they started a label yet. To follow in the lines of S. Carter and 50 Cent, Nelly has just inked a very nice deal with Reebok to develop his own shoes and accessories. The launch of Nelly's new line will hit some stores by the end of 2005 and then grow in 2006. I personally think it looks like a shoe from Wal Mart my Granny wears while she shucking peas on Saturday evenings.

Ike and Tina Back Together
Made you look like Nasir Jones. Akeelah and the Bee centers on a precocious eleven-year-old girl, Akeelah Anderson (Keke Palmer), from south Los Angeles, who is discovered to have a talent for words. In spite of the objections of her mother Wanda (Angela Bassett), Keke enters a spelling contest. Her gift takes her to compete in the National Spelling Bee, the most famous competition of its kind in the world. On the way, she is helped by a forthright, mysterious teacher, Dr. Larabee (Laurence Fishburne) and a cast of colorful characters from the community. Her journey evokes pride in the neighborhood, bringing them together and, in the end, all witness the courage and inspiration of one amazing little girl.

Free At Last, I Suppose
A few post back I commented on the wonderful world of airbrushing. Well check your girl Free out.

Being Bobby Brown Episode Five Summary

This week's episode was weak and full of more coonin' than usual. I'll may do a recap post later. For those who weren't able to tune in let me be the first to tell you that you didn't miss shit. Plus Bravo airs the show every four hours religiously.


"Three For One" Special Post

Ciara Transforms Into "Cedric" For Flaunt Photo Shoot

Pictures 2 - 3- 4 - 5

Umm, okay?

Quick Buzz Notes

- Negroids, Start Your Tivo's TV Land will be doing a 48-hour Good Times Marathon starting at 6:00 a.m. on July 23rd, and ending at 6:00 a.m. on July 25th. I know someone who's going to enjoy this just as much as myself.

- The Boondocks Are Coming To A TV Near You (thanks Phillybred for the head's up) : Huey's gonna be a bitch, literally.

Nigga Please of the Week

Kanye West has branded himself the "most popular" hip-hop star, because other rappers turn to him for inspiration and guidance. The "Jesus Walks" star boasts he's become the leader of the hip-hop movement because he is one of the few rappers to criticize himself in his own music. West explains, "They look up to me for inspiration. They need me to be a shining light. "I'm cool with every single rapper, but my style does set me apart, though there are a couple of others who do have that same style. I'm just the most popular. "I guess, what does set me apart is that I rap from the perspective of coming down on myself. You never really hear that in rap. Rap is usually about putting everybody else down. I'm self-critical, that's what sets me apart. "

I Can Knock The Hustle

Each time the commerical for Hustle and Flow (hitting theaters tomorrow) is displayed across my television screen a confused look sprawls across my face. As Terrence Howard yells ever so crunkly to "whoop that trick" I pick up my remote control and hit the mute button. Its bad enough I have to deal with the Ying Yang Twins' misogynic rhymes about beating pussy up and 50 telling bitches it get in his car on a daily basis. I'm definantely not trying to fuck with this movie. Yes I realize he a pimp chasing his hip hop dream which I have no personal beef with. I'm just in no rush to run and see this movie. Excuse me for wearing my hip hop feminist cap today but I just can't bring myself to stand behind this project 100 percent. I'm pretty sure it is a solid film - - hell, I'm even sure that Terrence Howard and crew gave a solid award winning performance. Another thing I'm not feeling is Terrence's accent for the movie. Nigga, the people I know from Memphis do not talk anything like that. That negro sounds like the people on my mama's side of the family, the ones with the out-houses and who hang their clothes on a line made of rope. Now that's country. It also doesn't help that he has the Frankie Lymon Why Do Fools Fall In Love hair going on either.

I just can't seem to bring myself to look beyond the lyrics for "Whoop That Trick" and "Its Hard Out Here For A Chimp Pimp". I'm a Taurus which makes me stubborn by nature so once my mind is made up and focus on something I'm not trying to change it (not right away at least). Two words come to mind when I hear those lyrics: nigga please. Plus Taraji Henderson looking like the pregnant worker at KFC who drops the chicken and fries don't do anything for me. And we not going to get on his white "hoe" braids, ha ha.

I don't knock anyone else who wants to go support black film making, do you. I'll just sit this one out.

"Smack them bitches" - Jon


Mike Tyson = Porn Starah!

Niggas is mad I get more butt than ash tray - Notorious B.I.G.

Well, everyone can rest easy. Now that Mike Tyson has retired from boxing, I'm sure many of you have been concerned how Tyson would live his life. Well, rest assured, Mike has a plan. Porn! Yes, Mike Tyson in porn. According to an interview online, Mike says that he has plans other than fighting. Tyson said, "I'm definitely not fighting anymore. I've talked to some people; I just talked to a gentleman named Jimmy, who's involved with Club Jenna. You know, Jenna Jameson. They said they were interested in getting me involved in that kind of business as well." This is absolutely perfect. I can only hope they have Tyson involved in the performance end of the business. What else could it be? I don't think they're going to bring Mike into Club Jenna so he can devise a new marketing strategy. I doubt he's going to be producing or directing the films.

Mike the porn star? The only thing more disturbing than this, is that it really isn't surprising. What else is he going to do? He can't fight, he's broke, he needs money and how can someone make money fast? Porn!

Cuz he "eat, eat, eat, eat" pussy all day.

Also check out Jimmy Kimmel's "Trapped In The Closet" spoof. HA! That white boy is hilarious.


For The Love of God (site premiere!) . . .

Let Luther Rest In Peace!

I'm in Queen Latifah circa '91 mode, I had it up to here. Every since Luther passed away there have been so many speculations about his sexuality. Everyone has an opinion and is entitled to that. What do I think? Yeah, I think Luther was gay. In fact, I think him and his best friend Fonzie or whatever the hell were life partners. That's just my theory. If Luther was or wasn't gay so fucking what? Does that stop people from making love to his sensual voice? Hell no. I don't care if Luther was in love with a gay Siemens cat named Spud I would still love him the same. I wasn't going to comment on all of this controversy surrounding Mr. Vandross' sexuality because I didn't think it was worth my efforts until Boogie Oogie put me on to something that I just had to share. I don't wish to offend any of my servants online buds with this article so take advisory in reading it. Wow, I'm so full of shit. I just called Al "Big Gay Al" a few posts ago now I'm saying I don't wanna offend anyone. Oh well.

For two decades, Luther Vandross sang the soundtrack to America's bedrooms, but as much as he touched hearts and stirred loins with music about love and loss, his own romantic life remained mostly a mystery. The black singer who proudly declared that he would never don a blond wig to achieve mainstream fame among white fans, nonetheless hid his own love life to placate his heterosexual female fan base. (read the entire article here)

If you feel like Boogie and myself, you might come to believe that the author is trying to hint towards Luther's death being that of AIDS. No? I'm not feeling that shit. It's one thing to talk shit AFTER someone has gone home (I'm from the country, eff ya'll) so now you wanna say they died from AIDS? Come on! Top add icing on the fucking cake, the author himself is gay. *in my best white boy from Cali voice* Dude, what the fuck?

Chris got knocked the fuck out while he was walking hand in hand with his boyfriend.

I'm not trying to spark a heated debate or anything with this post, I'm just confused. Maybe someone can help me iron the kinks out.

Them bitches ain't real! Ya'll gonna kill ya'll self tryna live up to that shit! - Mo'Nique


retouched. (to def)

Word to Geekbird 'nem (he's retired you know), this is why I don't believe SHIT I see in magazines, on the internet, or television. I know this for myself dealing with creating different images in Photoshop but DAMN. Check out Ms. Fox, whoa. They should've left her ass alone. However if you do notice, Erykah doesn't look that different to me. Natural beauty I supposed?


Ja Rule In Rehab? Superhead Breaking Up Homes?

Word around the hip-hop entertainment industry is that Murder Inc. rapper Ja Rule (born Jeffrey Atkins) is in a drug rehab facility. Branded the "sensitive thug" by many fans, Ja Rule was never shy about recording his views on relationships and women--causing quite a stir among his female fans. So when it was revealed that the rapper had engaged in a long-term intimate relationship with groupie-turned-author Karrine Steffans, while many fans were shocked, others weren't surprised at all. Allegedly, Ja's wife Aisha, of 4 years kicked him out after the release of Steffans groupie tell-all book entitled 'Confessions of a Video Vixen'. To save face he reportedly entered a drug rehab until the Superhead-Super-Saga dies down. But judging by the allegations and the he say/she say comments which have been made since the release of the book, it doesn't look like the Steffans hype will die down anytime soon.

High school sweethearts, Ja Rule married Aisha in April of 2001. The couple has three children. In the book Steffans, 26, claims that she and Ja Rule, 29, along with Murder Inc.'s CEO, Irv Gotti spent most of their time smoking weed laced with cocaine and popping more pills (Ecstacy) than a man with severe halitosis pops Altoids and Tic-Tacs. According to her, there was a never-ending supply of illegal drugs available at anytime and any place. And although Aisha is well aware of her husband's popularity, specifically that he is the embodiment of "thug passion" and many women are eager to get close to him, she is also well aware of the times when being Ja Rule's wife can be a major headache. In 2002, she told Ebony magazine, "A lot of people think that my husband lives his life the way that he does in his videos," she reveals. "And when we're out and I have my son in my arms and I have my wedding band on, women will ask me: `Who are you?' or, `Are you the nanny?' And it makes me so angry. But I know that it's just wishful thinking on their part, so I just take it with a grain of salt and deal with it." So, how is she taking all the negative backlash that has been bestowed upon her and her marriage to the raspy-voiced rapper since Steffans allegations? That remains to be seen.

Man Jailed After He Attempts To Run T-Boz Over On 4th of July

The upcoming UPN reality series "R U the Girl With T-Boz and Chilli" may have been saddled with seeking two new members of TLC when it debuts later this month if law enforcement officers hadn't shown up at singer Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins' Sugarloaf Country Club residence in Duluth on July 4. According to a Gwinnett County police report, the Grammy-winning R&B pop star and members of her family and friends were setting off fireworks in the street late on Independence Day when they were approached by an angry neighbor, Jeffery Strickland. He allegedly told T-Boz, "Things are going to get ugly" if the pyrotechnics display didn't stop. Two Sugarloaf Country Club security guards initially responded to the noise complaint but opted instead to call Gwinnett authorities when they discovered Strickland was brandishing a 45-caliber handgun. According to witnesses, Strickland tried to break up the party by speeding his black SUV toward Watkins and her guests. When officers arrived, Strickland told them that Watkins and company had started the incident. The report details that officers "noticed a strong aroma of alcohol" coming from Strickland and that his speech was slurred.

According to the police report, when quizzed about driving his vehicle at a high rate of speed toward the TLC member and her guests, he replied: "I got a high-priced attorney. I know how the game works. I was testing my transmission." After his gun was secured back inside his home, Strickland was arrested and charged with aggravated assault with a vehicle. "It was a very unfortunate incident, and [T-Boz] and her family just want to put this behind them," Watkins rep Tammy Brooks told Buzz Thursday. Strickland's attorney, Jim Argo, told Buzz on Thursday that his client grew concerned about the "large commercial mortar type" fireworks being set off over his house, scaring his three young daughters. He added that Strickland had "no intent" to harm anyone when he backed his SUV into the street but rather was "seeking to diffuse the situation." Argo said he didn't have any information about Strickland carrying a handgun into the confrontation. Strickland posted bond, and no court date has yet been set.

Edit: I wanted to run T-Boz and Chilli over with my Kia every since they decided to look for a new memeber for the group. But that's just the way I feel about the situation.


Big Gay Al and Star Jones On Vacation (sorry couldn't resist)

Pictures are worth 1,000 words . . .

Being Bobby Brown Episode Four Summary

As promised last week, the Brown clan decides to venture off into the wilderness this week by going on a nice little camping trip. It started off at first as a males only type of party which included Bobby, Bobby Jr., Tommy, and Pops (I'll talk about his nutty ass more later).

- The episode gets off to a familiar start as Bobby decides to go shopping for shit he absolutely does not need. Let me also be clear: Bobby loves his guns. I couldn't believe my eyes went his nigga started to pick out all types of crazy heat. That shit has got to be illegal. I mean, doesn't Mr. Brown have a wrap sheets long as Beyonce's weave?

- Fast forward to later on that night. The guys camp around the fire and chill out basically. Bobby enjoys a few hot dogs that may prove themselves to be lethal later.

- Then Pop Brown shows us where exactly Bobby got his dancing skills from. Yo, I think he deserves his own spin off show. I would watch it. I watch this shit so you know I'm down for whatever. After Pop's funky chicken routine its time to hit the sheets. Just one thing, Bobby Jr. keeps passing gas in the tent. Pop believes that this comes from "all those damn beans" they was eating. I second that motion. . .

- The next morning Bobby Sr. Receives a phone call from wifey informing him that she is on her way up. The episode has been pretty Whitney-less from this point but the tables are about to turn.

- Whitney arrives and the sweet coo's start to begin almost automatically. If you haven't been keeping up with the Brown's sex life just know that they like to get done. They talk about it almost every two minutes.

- The execs at Bravo love adding those cooning moments we all have come to hate. Bobby and Whit start to do their own version of Fire by Earth, Wind, and Fire, (water, heart....Captain Planet!). Ignant.

- A few scenes later and we have yet another niggerish confrontation. This time it is with Bob, who is also enjoying the serenity of the lake. Bobby and Whitney tells him that he doesn't know who they are talking to when Bob says something slick. That's right! The angry negro in America rears its ugly head again.

- As always, Whitney starts bitching and decides the trip is over. While waiting on Bobby and crew to finish packing up and out, she cracks the pages on a magazine open. The aforementioned Beyonce gets love from Whitney. She also would like a wedding invitation. Yeah, that would be real interesting. Bobby and Whitney at your damn wedding, right.

A Glimpse Into The Future

Happy Mother's Day.


Nas = Homeboy In Outer Space

Hip hop star Nas was left terrified after witnessing an alien spacecraft fly over Los Angeles four years ago.The rapper- who recently married R&B beauty Kelis - is now adamant there is life on other planets. He says, "I've seen the ship." Four years ago in LA, I fucking saw a UFO. If you'd seen it you'd fucking bug."In the papers they said they were testing missiles."Right. That's what they say. Missiles is bullet-shaped."

I'm too tired to even begin the ridicule session. Who knew that counting crackas, I mean, people's money all day long in a bank could be tiring. I will say this though, Halle Berry loves oral!

Don't forget, When Crackheads Attack comes on tonight on Bravo. I'll recap tomorrow as always.


I got off work early today. Time to celebrate!

50 Beats Pussy Up, Literally
Autographs are so pass?. 50 Cent left a female fan with a far more memorable souvenir when herecently visited London. The charming rapper took her back to his hotel from China White and shagged her so hard that her vagina was torn. A hospital visit was required to stitch up the damage.

It's Not That Serious
Star Jones has acquired a scary lawyer. She was so ticked off about Philadelphia shock jock Patty Jackson's recent column claiming that Al Reynolds visited L.A. gay bars after the BET Awards that she sicced Hollywood pit bull Bert Fields on the hapless Jackson - who immediately issued a retraction and apology. So are Fields and Jones the new match made in heaven? Yesterday Jones' flack, Brad Zeifman, E-mailed Lowdown: "When Star needs to make important decisions in her professional or personal life, she hires the best people in the business to advise her. There is no question that Mr. Fields falls into that category."

We Belong Together
Snoop Dogg no longer wants to divorce his wife of eight years, Shante Broadus. The rapper has also blamed the music industry on their split - after admitting he had been unfaithful to the mother of his three children. He confessed in an interview with MTV: "I fell back in love with my wife and kids. A lot of times you get cloudy.This music industry is a mother, man, and it'll take your vision and blur it. "But I need my wife and my kids in my life."

It Ain't Over Yet Bitches!
On July 5 at Chicago's Esquire movie theater, R. Kelly screened his five-part mini-movie "Trapped in the Closet" and gave onlookers an added treat as well: The Pied Piper debuted the songs for chapters six through 10 of "Trapped in the Closet" and even acted out the words to one of the episodes before hosting a party at Le Passage. Over the weekend, Kelly began shooting videos for "Trapped in the Closet" chapters six through 10, which all continue a central story. Production is said to be wrapping this week, and as with the predecessors, Kelly is co-directing. (continue reading)

The Artist Formly Known As Peedi Crakk
...God is watching. This is the start of a new beginning. It's no longer Peedi Crakk - - it's Peedi Peedi. I'm dropping Crakk. I'm not dropping it because of any other artist. I'm only dropping it 'cause I feel I don't wanna promote the negativety that kids might get from the name. I get a lot of mothers ask me, "Why Crakk?" And I don't have no explanation for it; that was the name given to me from the streets. I'm on the biggest label in hip-hop. Why not make a better decision? And I'm not supporting no more violence in my raps, or try my best not to. Everything is not going to be all positive, like me going to college or me watering flowers, 'cause that's not what my life consists of. But I know better, so what I went through--being in and out of jail, selling drugs, and shootings and all that type of negative shit that I have survived though--I don't have to teach the youth that. The youth don't know no better, so if they hear Peedi Crakk say, "Yo, if a nigga say something to me, I'ma clap him," they like, "If Peedi Crakk said it, it must be all right then". It's not all right. I'm letting 'em know that.

Nigga please.


Pictures of the Week

Normally I don't post cracka ass celebs on my site (reverse racism bitches, just kiddin' before you start sending hate mail) but today I'll make an exception. At first glance Lindsay looks pretty cracked out as usual.

Now peep her getting felt up my Anna Nicole Smith's deceased husband's cousin Gerald. Okay, I made thatlast part up but damn, that's crazy. I told ya'll last week that homeless people were the new Ugg boots and ya'll thought I was tripping . . .

Hey Lloyd, I don't care how "good" you think your hair is please don't do this shit ever again.

Check out Loon at his birthday party looking like he's fresh off of the prison bus. I guess that is what happens when you're a Bad Boy artist.

Upgrade: Dame Dash and Racheal Roy out with the kids.
Downgrade: Shar Jackson and ALL them damn kids.


The Mad Surreal Life

Remember this face? It's Shock G, the one who put the satin on your panties. After years of making wack ass music post Digital Underground he is finally doing hip hop a favor and retiring. Woo hoo! Let's all get together and buy this negro a plaque for his past accomplishments. The Humpty Hump man says music is driving him to do drugs and making him depressed which is understandable. If I had a $40 budget video in rotation on UnCut after having a pretty okay career in the early 90's I would be a melancholy also. I remember back when the "Humpty Dance" came out - - I might've been all of seven years old maybe? Any how, some people just need to realize when their time is up. Of course there are a few people who this general rule of thumb does not apply to but this nigga ain't one. Sorry to be so harsh but no one gives a damn about his "retirement". His ass should be on the next season of The Surreal Life.

Speaking of which, I would like to take this time out to conduct a little poll. If you could watch anyone on the next season of The Surreal Life who would you like to see?

For those who do not know about the show, they basically throw seven "celebrities" (the reason for the quotation marks are these 90 percent of the cast aren't really relevant to the entertainment biz anymore) inside of a house and watch the drama unfold. Past hip hop negros who have been apart of the cast include Flava Flav and Da Brat. During the duration of the show the are presented with certain missions and challenges they must complete. Yadda yadda yadda.


'Superhead Tells All' Update

Last month I hit ya'll with information about Superhead's new book. Here's the link via BC of an interview she gave with those gossiping bitches at Hot 97. Very interesting if I do say so myself, very.

Edit: If you want some additional juicy excerpts from the book, check out Hollyhood Blogazine. This is one of new favorite negrotainment blogs also so show some love!

On Ray J . . .
I remember vividly the night he recorded the song that would change everything. 'Where Do We Go from Here' was a song about meeting someone and spending so much time with them, even beginning to love them, and wanting to know if it could, or should, be more. Ray stood in the recording booth, belted out that song, and accompanied it with tears. He cried, and I cried witnessing it. I loved this boy so much and wanted nothing more than to stay with him. But I knew that one day, I would have to go, that one day he would know who I had been with and render me unworthy of the affection he was now showing me. (more)

On Usher . . .
I instantly took all of him into my mouth. He was immediately aroused and lay back in ecstasy while touching my most intimate parts. I'd had more than my share of martinis at the bar before arriving on the set, and it seemed as if I reached my sexual peak all at once, in the backseat with him. With every touch, I shivered. With every lick, he squirmed. I was ready, and so was he, and before we knew it, we had arrived at the hotel. (more)

What's Up With Chris?

Chris Tucker is being a diva and holding up production of Rush Hour 3 because he's making too many demands and angering co-star Jackie Chan, who is old and wants to get PAID.

He can't be doing those stunts much longer. Says Chan of Tucker, "He's still a new actor. How many movies has he made? Two movies have already made him very famous and made him a lot of money. He needs to learn slowly."

Translation: "That's me being nice. If you don't make this movie, I'm gonna start talking about Why you always wear those sunglasses indoors motherfucker. And, I'm gonna call Chris Rock. Schmon!"

Listamania! Commericals That Get On My Last Nerve

The Niggar Family Wins A Contest For Free Chicken
Every single time I see the commercial for BET's KFC "Get Together" contest I roll my eyes. Out of all the companies in the world they picked KFC. $500 worth of damn chicken, and then BET turns around and have a special on obesity. WTF? How about $500 Subway coupons or something? The Niggar family sitting there at their family reunion enjoying their chicken smiling and shit doesn't make it better. In my opinion it feels as if they are giving into a stereotype. They might as well throw in a free gallon of red kool aid and some watermelon slices while they are at it.

Colgate's "The Closer I Get To You The More You Make Me Smile"
Someone should've lost their job for pitching that idea.

Old Navy's "Super Flirt"
It's bad enough MC Lyte is moonlighting as a rapper again telling females to "bust a tunic" already but this commercial was the straw that broke the camel's back. I remember the very first time I saw it during an episode of I Love the 80's I couldn't believe my ears. Four overly elated white women (plus one token nigga) dancing around in those bohemian skirts made both my eyes and ears bleed. I turned around to face the television screen and then thought out loud "no no no no no, they're butchering a classic!".

The Niggar Family Loves Wal Mart
I'm from Smallsville, Georgia so the local Wal Mart is basically the mall down here. At any given time you can go to Wal Mart and see half of your graduating class from high school. Its sad but its the truth. Anyways, in the commercials for Wal mart they advertise the stores as being an organize store you can take care of all of your shopping needs. Which is true but its a total fabrication of how the actual stores usually are. Screaming babies, long lines, rude cashiers (you went to high school with, see how that works?), and old people who always run their carts into your heels. Whenever I shop at Wal Mart I have to put my game face on because there is no telling if Fresh is going to have to choke a bitch.

Wac Arnold's Fruit Buzz
First of all let me say that's I'm not spending $4 on some shit I can make myself for two dollars cheaper. This is yet another example of a product being able to take all your stress away. Who knew that your day could go by so smoothly by just relaxing with your girls in the backyard munching on overpriced grapes and yogurt?


Being Bobby Brown Episode Three Summary

Episode Synopsis: They Should Have Never Gave You Niggas Money!

- In the opening scene, Bobby tries to convince Whitney to buy him some conflict free diamonds (ha ha, Kanye) via a studded watch. Whitney says that it looks like a woman's and refuses, sorry!

- To coon or not to coon, that is the question. And Bobby always decides to do some form of jigging in every episode. Last week it was dancing at Mr. Chopstix now he's getting down with Sophia from The Golden Girls (thank you for being a friend!). This lil' poor elderly white woman probably has no idea who he is.

- Mohammed got that work nigga! Mohammed hooks Bobby up with some Egyptian Viagra.

- I'm Bobby Brown, bitch. I don't think the Dalai Lama knew who he was until he was introduced as Whitney Houston's husband. Damn, out of all the black celebs in the world Bobby's ass bumps into the muthafuckin Dalai Lama.

- Bobby proves himself to be a free ATM as he gives some local hoodrat some rent money. And he gave her the shit! I hope she takes a few dollars and buy her some Doo Grow for them edges because that shit looks ate.the.fuck.up.

- This speaks for itself.

- How many times have you asked yourself "why is my shoe following me?" after a long night of drinks? I know I have nigga! Wooo, good times. Whitney however isn't amused at all with Bobby's hijinks and reminds him he has kids and needs to grow up. In a drunken slur of words Bobby finally proclaims he isn't drunk anymore as Whit closes two double doors behind her. Mr. Brown shouts out "you better close them fucking doors" and reminds us all about his most recent court appearance. Way to go Bobby.

- Don't forget kids: Horse playing a domestic violence episode is one excellent way to show your love.

A glimpse into the future . . .

The Browns go camping

Quick Buzz

- On her way to prison, Lil Kim says "shut up bitch" to the negative folks. Including Star Jones

- "The Fugees was a conspiracy to control, to manipulate and to encourage dependence," - Lauryn Hill

- Bang Bang Bang! Bobby and Whitney want more kids

- Speaking of procreation, Claudette Ortiz of City High fame (ok, not really) is pregnant with her second child with group member Ryan Toby. Congrats!

- Raz-B to perform at a gay black men's pride celebration. Surprised? I'm not. (Via Boogie Tonight)

- In B2K related news, pray for Omarion.

Well I'm off to watch Hair Show on BET. Yes I'm that desperate tonight. Where else can you see the worst acting ever in one place? Peace.

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Use don't abuse (ie. adding me to your site's mailing list). And for the love of God please stop sending mp3 files of your music. I am not Clive Davis and to be frank I probably don't want to hear the shit anyway. You should also know that I take my slow, precious time responding to email. And sometimes I don't respond at all. Fresh.crunkjuice@gmail.com



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