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Starring real life hip hop star Trina, With Friends Like these...focuses on the trials, loves and tribulations of fictional character Cleo Taylor (25) as she runs a Miami beauty salon named Hair We Are. When we first meet Cleo she is the owner for one of Miami's top modeling agencies. With beauty, money and brains, she seems to have it all going for her. On what turns out to be a nightmare morning, Cleo awakens to find her house completely stripped of everything by the IRS. An agent explains to a stunned Cleo, that her longtime boyfriend/partner ran their agency into the ground by embezzling and not filing any taxes. With nowhere to go, Cleo turns to her two childhood friends for help- Suzanne Good (24) a conservative, Caucasian and legal assistant, and Kylie Davis (25) a dizzy and gorgeous Dominican/Black model.
Miles Thirst, the Sprite character introduced in February 2004 by WPP Group's Ogilvy & Mather, is being phased out of the brand's advertising, sources said, and the company is poised to invite Ogilvy and undisclosed others to present new ideas and a tagline to replace the 11-year-old "Obey your thirst" positioning. Coca-Cola spent $25 million in U.S. media on Sprite brands from January to May 2005, per Nielsen Monitor-Plus. Ogilvy here referred calls to the client. A Coke representative declined to comment. The moves are a precursor to a complete overhaul as brand executives mull a 2006 celebrity-driven brand relaunch with a package change and new flavor profile, sources said. Sources said NBA star LeBron James (paired with Miles in work currently on air) would continue to appear in ads for Sprite.
- Yes, that is a pair of draws with the infamous "crack is wack" one-liner. Who wants a pair?
- For only $2.49 you can whoop that trick everytime he/she calls your phone.
- This is sorta amusing. In a I-used-to-have-my-own-Saturday-morning-cartoon now-I'm-a- gospel-gangsta sorta way.
- Finally I would like to say that this is white trash at its finest.
So I'm sitting in front of the idiot box the other day watching Wack City in total disgust. First of all, where in the hell did they find this Mad Linx character? The muthafucka I had the accident with (I got a lot of animosity about that whole ordeal, sorry) can do a better job hosting. Hell, AJ's rasta-impasta looking ass can run laps around his ass. Yeah he's alright but he's not real. True, Tigger did get on my last fuckin nerves with all that "cousin" shit (its bad enough most white people think we're "all related" and "look alike") but this nigga takes the cake. He's not bad on the eyes or nothing like that but looks can't cover lameness. Sorry.
Webbie - Ahhh, my first victim. What can I say? This negroid looks like the love child of Juvenile + Mannie Fresh. He very well might be with him being from the N.O. and all. First he tells a girl to give him that pussy now he showers her with accolades by calling her a bad bitch. How lovely.
Slim Thug - Fresh loves a tall glass of water. Saying that I mean I have a "thing" if you want to call it that for men who are 6'4" and up. So as I was strolling through the mall last year around Super Bowl time I couldn't help but notice a 6'6" brother from a far. The closer he got the more I started to think to myself (and as Charlie Murphy would say) "wow, this nigga got a big fuckin' head". I didn't know at the time he was indeed "famous" until later on that day. Now I would classified Slim Thugga as being that quiet, soft retard. For example, the one who plays on the football team who's cool with everyone but is in the remedial classes on the end of the hall. Everybody went to high school with one! Nigga got the same teacher all day long . . .
Mike Jones - It doesn't help that he is always repeating his name every other bar. I wonder about him sometime.
Lil Wayne - Where have I seen this face before? Now I'm not going to sit here and front like I've never listened to a Lil' Wayne cd before, so whatever. But I've always thought that this young punk looked pretty damn ugly. My best friend in high school thought totally opposite of myself and was straight sick with his martian looking ass! This girl had Lil' Wayne sheets, posters, shirts, and other misc. bull. Over time however she's calmed down with her love but damn. Why?
Jacki-O - Once again, another rapper who looks dumb as hell. I'm going to put Jacki in a category similar to Slim's. Everyone also went to school with that one chick who could dress her ass off but was dumber than a brick. Walking around in Gucci loafers but can't find the adverb in a sentence.
Ying Yang Twins - No comment.
So, did I miss anybody?
Umm, okay?
Quick Buzz Notes
- Negroids, Start Your Tivo's TV Land will be doing a 48-hour Good Times Marathon starting at 6:00 a.m. on July 23rd, and ending at 6:00 a.m. on July 25th. I know someone who's going to enjoy this just as much as myself.
- The Boondocks Are Coming To A TV Near You (thanks Phillybred for the head's up) : Huey's gonna be a bitch, literally.
Nigga Please of the Week
Kanye West has branded himself the "most popular" hip-hop star, because other rappers turn to him for inspiration and guidance. The "Jesus Walks" star boasts he's become the leader of the hip-hop movement because he is one of the few rappers to criticize himself in his own music. West explains, "They look up to me for inspiration. They need me to be a shining light. "I'm cool with every single rapper, but my style does set me apart, though there are a couple of others who do have that same style. I'm just the most popular. "I guess, what does set me apart is that I rap from the perspective of coming down on myself. You never really hear that in rap. Rap is usually about putting everybody else down. I'm self-critical, that's what sets me apart. "
Each time the commerical for Hustle and Flow (hitting theaters tomorrow) is displayed across my television screen a confused look sprawls across my face. As Terrence Howard yells ever so crunkly to "whoop that trick" I pick up my remote control and hit the mute button. Its bad enough I have to deal with the Ying Yang Twins' misogynic rhymes about beating pussy up and 50 telling bitches it get in his car on a daily basis. I'm definantely not trying to fuck with this movie. Yes I realize he a pimp chasing his hip hop dream which I have no personal beef with. I'm just in no rush to run and see this movie. Excuse me for wearing my hip hop feminist cap today but I just can't bring myself to stand behind this project 100 percent. I'm pretty sure it is a solid film - - hell, I'm even sure that Terrence Howard and crew gave a solid award winning performance. Another thing I'm not feeling is Terrence's accent for the movie. Nigga, the people I know from Memphis do not talk anything like that. That negro sounds like the people on my mama's side of the family, the ones with the out-houses and who hang their clothes on a line made of rope. Now that's country. It also doesn't help that he has the Frankie Lymon Why Do Fools Fall In Love hair going on either.
Well, everyone can rest easy. Now that Mike Tyson has retired from boxing, I'm sure many of you have been concerned how Tyson would live his life. Well, rest assured, Mike has a plan. Porn! Yes, Mike Tyson in porn. According to an interview online, Mike says that he has plans other than fighting. Tyson said, "I'm definitely not fighting anymore. I've talked to some people; I just talked to a gentleman named Jimmy, who's involved with Club Jenna. You know, Jenna Jameson. They said they were interested in getting me involved in that kind of business as well." This is absolutely perfect. I can only hope they have Tyson involved in the performance end of the business. What else could it be? I don't think they're going to bring Mike into Club Jenna so he can devise a new marketing strategy. I doubt he's going to be producing or directing the films.
I'm in Queen Latifah circa '91 mode, I had it up to here. Every since Luther passed away there have been so many speculations about his sexuality. Everyone has an opinion and is entitled to that. What do I think? Yeah, I think Luther was gay. In fact, I think him and his best friend Fonzie or whatever the hell were life partners. That's just my theory. If Luther was or wasn't gay so fucking what? Does that stop people from making love to his sensual voice? Hell no. I don't care if Luther was in love with a gay Siemens cat named Spud I would still love him the same. I wasn't going to comment on all of this controversy surrounding Mr. Vandross' sexuality because I didn't think it was worth my efforts until Boogie Oogie put me on to something that I just had to share. I don't wish to offend any of my 
untouched.
High school sweethearts, Ja Rule married Aisha in April of 2001. The couple has three children. In the book Steffans, 26, claims that she and Ja Rule, 29, along with Murder Inc.'s CEO, Irv Gotti spent most of their time smoking weed laced with cocaine and popping more pills (Ecstacy) than a man with severe halitosis pops Altoids and Tic-Tacs. According to her, there was a never-ending supply of illegal drugs available at anytime and any place. And although Aisha is well aware of her husband's popularity, specifically that he is the embodiment of "thug passion" and many women are eager to get close to him, she is also well aware of the times when being Ja Rule's wife can be a major headache. In 2002, she told Ebony magazine, "A lot of people think that my husband lives his life the way that he does in his videos," she reveals. "And when we're out and I have my son in my arms and I have my wedding band on, women will ask me: `Who are you?' or, `Are you the nanny?' And it makes me so angry. But I know that it's just wishful thinking on their part, so I just take it with a grain of salt and deal with it." So, how is she taking all the negative backlash that has been bestowed upon her and her marriage to the raspy-voiced rapper since Steffans allegations? That remains to be seen.
Pictures are worth 1,000 words . . .
Normally I don't post cracka ass celebs on my site (reverse racism bitches, just kiddin' before you start sending hate mail) but today I'll make an exception. At first glance Lindsay looks pretty cracked out as usual.
Remember this face? It's Shock G, the one who put the satin on your panties. After years of making wack ass music post Digital Underground he is finally doing hip hop a favor and retiring. Woo hoo! Let's all get together and buy this negro a plaque for his past accomplishments. The Humpty Hump man says music is driving him to do drugs and making him depressed which is understandable. If I had a $40 budget video in rotation on UnCut after having a pretty okay career in the early 90's I would be a melancholy also. I remember back when the "Humpty Dance" came out - - I might've been all of seven years old maybe? Any how, some people just need to realize when their time is up. Of course there are a few people who this general rule of thumb does not apply to but this nigga ain't one. Sorry to be so harsh but no one gives a damn about his "retirement". His ass should be on the next season of The Surreal Life.
Colgate's "The Closer I Get To You The More You Make Me Smile"
Someone should've lost their job for pitching that idea.
Old Navy's "Super Flirt"
It's bad enough MC Lyte is moonlighting as a rapper again telling females to "bust a tunic" already but this commercial was the straw that broke the camel's back. I remember the very first time I saw it during an episode of I Love the 80's I couldn't believe my ears. Four overly elated white women (plus one token nigga) dancing around in those bohemian skirts made both my eyes and ears bleed. I turned around to face the television screen and then thought out loud "no no no no no, they're butchering a classic!".
The Niggar Family Loves Wal Mart
I'm from Smallsville, Georgia so the local Wal Mart is basically the mall down here. At any given time you can go to Wal Mart and see half of your graduating class from high school. Its sad but its the truth. Anyways, in the commercials for Wal mart they advertise the stores as being an organize store you can take care of all of your shopping needs. Which is true but its a total fabrication of how the actual stores usually are. Screaming babies, long lines, rude cashiers (you went to high school with, see how that works?), and old people who always run their carts into your heels. Whenever I shop at Wal Mart I have to put my game face on because there is no telling if Fresh is going to have to choke a bitch.
Wac Arnold's Fruit Buzz
First of all let me say that's I'm not spending $4 on some shit I can make myself for two dollars cheaper. This is yet another example of a product being able to take all your stress away. Who knew that your day could go by so smoothly by just relaxing with your girls in the backyard munching on overpriced grapes and yogurt?
Episode Synopsis: They Should Have Never Gave You Niggas Money!
- In the opening scene, Bobby tries to convince Whitney to buy him some conflict free diamonds (ha ha, Kanye) via a studded watch. Whitney says that it looks like a woman's and refuses, sorry!
- To coon or not to coon, that is the question. And Bobby always decides to do some form of jigging in every episode. Last week it was dancing at Mr. Chopstix now he's getting down with Sophia from The Golden Girls (thank you for being a friend!). This lil' poor elderly white woman probably has no idea who he is.
- Mohammed got that work nigga! Mohammed hooks Bobby up with some Egyptian Viagra.
- I'm Bobby Brown, bitch. I don't think the Dalai Lama knew who he was until he was introduced as Whitney Houston's husband. Damn, out of all the black celebs in the world Bobby's ass bumps into the muthafuckin Dalai Lama.
- Bobby proves himself to be a free ATM as he gives some local hoodrat some rent money. And he gave her the shit! I hope she takes a few dollars and buy her some Doo Grow for them edges because that shit looks ate.the.fuck.up.
- This speaks for itself.
- How many times have you asked yourself "why is my shoe following me?" after a long night of drinks? I know I have nigga! Wooo, good times. Whitney however isn't amused at all with Bobby's hijinks and reminds him he has kids and needs to grow up. In a drunken slur of words Bobby finally proclaims he isn't drunk anymore as Whit closes two double doors behind her. Mr. Brown shouts out "you better close them fucking doors" and reminds us all about his most recent court appearance. Way to go Bobby.
- Don't forget kids: Horse playing a domestic violence episode is one excellent way to show your love.
A glimpse into the future . . .
The Browns go camping
Quick Buzz
- On her way to prison, Lil Kim says "shut up bitch" to the negative folks. Including Star Jones
- "The Fugees was a conspiracy to control, to manipulate and to encourage dependence," - Lauryn Hill
- Bang Bang Bang! Bobby and Whitney want more kids
- Speaking of procreation, Claudette Ortiz of City High fame (ok, not really) is pregnant with her second child with group member Ryan Toby. Congrats!
- Raz-B to perform at a gay black men's pride celebration. Surprised? I'm not. (Via Boogie Tonight)
- In B2K related news, pray for Omarion.
Well I'm off to watch Hair Show on BET. Yes I'm that desperate tonight. Where else can you see the worst acting ever in one place? Peace.
CONTACT INFORMATION
Use don't abuse (ie. adding me to your site's mailing list). And for the love of God please stop sending mp3 files of your music. I am not Clive Davis and to be frank I probably don't want to hear the shit anyway. You should also know that I take my slow, precious time responding to email. And sometimes I don't respond at all. Fresh.crunkjuice@gmail.com
Fresh@myspace.com
