Lil Kim: Poor Little Rich Girl

I've been working on designing some free blogger templates to distribute through the site for anyone who would like to pick one up (email a chica if interested). In the middle of creating one (click here!) featuring Deep Throat herself I stumbled across a picture of her from the old days. This is how I liked my Kimberly Jones. Bunny teeth, small tits (no homo), black wig, and with a ever so slight pudge on her waistline. Although her bikini lines looks questionable and I don't know what the blue hell she is doing with the gun, this is the Kim I was introduced to 10 years ago. She looks nothing like that now of course. While I was searching for some pictures I found a few interesting links about her and the various surgeries she has had performed.

She Got Served: The Impending Destruction of Lil Kim Article (This is great. It basically says everything I want to)
She Got Served: The Impending Destruction of Lil Kim Gallery
Awful Plastic Surgery: Lil Kim Bad Boob Job
Awful Plastic Surgery: Lil Kim Looks Like a Gremlin
Awful Plastic Surgery: Lil Kim Gets The Michael Jackson Look

Kimmy Kimmy Kimmy . . . you look a hot damn mess. Anybody else think she resembles Victoria Gotti? That is her homegirl you know . . .

[begin edit] I don't know why I'm just not beginning another post but oh well. Read and be merry, bitches.

Oh shizzle! We have Showtimes for a couple of days? Yes! Time for be to break out the pack of blank VCR tapes (everyone can't afford a DVR or whatever it's called). I've been catching some pretty decent programming on television as of lately. My new favorite show is Hell's Kitchen. The shit was bananas - B A N A N A S [/corny]. It's a tasty blend of American Idol, The Restaurant, and Survivor. Although Dewberry was booted last night from the show (I was rooting for his big ass), I know I'm going to be glued to the tube next week. I'm typing and looking over my shoulder at the 19" (do it big) right now viewing Trading Spouses. In my opinion Fox offers some very interesting choices in reality television. A & E is and will forever be my ultimate favorite when it comes to the reality shows, don't sleep on Family Plots. And I thought mi familia was loco..

Moving forward, Tyson Beckford's fine piece of man ass was almost grass. In a scene that I believe is so similar to the "Unbreak My Heart" video by Toni "why did I name my kids Denim and Diesel" Braxton. Remember that? No worries, Tyson's doing fine though. He was able to preserve his sexiniess and was released from the hospital Monday.

Time fly's when you're busy with school! Congrats to J.Lo and Marc Anthony. Who said it wouldn't last huh? Who still fucking cares is a better question. Congratulations are also in order for Stevie Wonder who welcomed a baby boy into the world last month (yeah I thought he was dead too). You don't have to see it to be in it, he be stroking! Yes, I know he doesn't sing that song but it was a good thought in my brain. Stevie should've chilled out with the name. Mandla Kadjaly Carl Stevland Morris? Someone's getting their ass kicked everyday until they're out of junior high.

Finally, today's C.W.A. (Cracka Wit Attitude) award goes to Russel Crowe. He'll hit that bitch with a phone (what you know about Miss Behavin?) . Folks have been testing his gangsta since Cinderlla Man was released. So he popped a bitch, almost like Fifty did Tyson in the "21 Questions" video. What sweet irony. . .

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Use don't abuse (ie. adding me to your site's mailing list). And for the love of God please stop sending mp3 files of your music. I am not Clive Davis and to be frank I probably don't want to hear the shit anyway. You should also know that I take my slow, precious time responding to email. And sometimes I don't respond at all. Fresh.crunkjuice@gmail.com



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