For the several months I have been persuaded into watching "Raw Is War" every Monday night by my boyfriend. With every passing week I sit on the sofa complaining about the lack of authenticity and mystique that was once associated with professional wrestling. Gone are the glory days which once included such legends as Junkyard Dog, Iron Sheik, Sgt. Slaughter and the Ultimate Warrior. The wrestlers who now inhabit the ring are some of the most bland entertainers in the history of the company. One wrestler in particular though always seems to grab my attention.

Straight up and in your face, the fan favorite rapper and WWE Champion John Cena has made quite the notorious reputation for himself in WWE by speaking the truth and backing it up in the ring with his own style of ruckus. Pimping baggy jean shorts and a throwback jersey, Cena will often get amped up signaling the end for his victims by pumping up his kicks leading to him dropping his trademark "you can't see me" catchphrase en route to the FU. A street brawler by definition, Cena is always up for a fight against anyone who steps to him. Of course, for those who step foot in the ring to lock up with Cena or do battle on the microphone, they best prepare to get burned by this RAW Superstar'’s blistering, edgy rap lyrics that often scorch the egos of those who dare challenge the rebellious rapper. Cena refuses to back down from any man who gets in his way.

John Cena is basically the WWE's equivalent to Vanilla Ice. I can't understand for the life of my why my dick dealer can't seem to see that he is a gimmick. Everything from the spinning WWE logo inside of his world championship belt to his terrible use of ebonics always seem to provide me with tons of laughter as soon as he appears on the screen. Last night as he walked to the ring he sported what my Mama would call a G-Unit "cousin" shirt. Surely not from the Curtis Jackson collection but you could see it was obviously inspired by it. Weak. I don't like this guy for the simple reason I believe he is trying to profit from the hip hop culture without giving anything back.

By The Way . . .

- Just when you thought "Trapped In The Closet Chapter 36" featuring Terry McMillan and Jonathan Plummer was over they decide to take the act to Oprah. The show will air tomorrow so don't let it slip your mind. This will without a doubt be water cooler talk for Thursday. You already know the girl is going to be glued in front of the screen.

- Regina King recently decided to show the boys off.

- For the people who missed the "The Boondocks" Sunday night Es got you covered. Also be sure to check out the hammer time photo at the bottom of the entry, heh.

- Check out some pictures from OutKast's film Idlewind. Looks interesting already. Shouts out to Child of the Sun for the tip.

- Foxy Brown got her Paris Hilton pose on in a Louis Vuitton store last week. I hope she didn't try to fight one of the sales associate instead of paying for her merchandise.

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Use don't abuse (ie. adding me to your site's mailing list). And for the love of God please stop sending mp3 files of your music. I am not Clive Davis and to be frank I probably don't want to hear the shit anyway. You should also know that I take my slow, precious time responding to email. And sometimes I don't respond at all. Fresh.crunkjuice@gmail.com



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