Crunk and Disorderly Lifetime Achievement Award For Portrayal of A Substance Abuser


I love Samuel L. Jackson as a serious actor, Lord knows I do. I truly believe he did some of his best work when he played one of my favorite crackheads however. Let me take you back to his "Gator" days in Jungle Fever. Everytime BET shows this movie (which is about once every two months. BET needs to start buying the rights to more movies) I tune in just to watch it for Gator. Damn sure ain't Wesley. He reminds me of a neighbor basshead I grew up with named Roy Lee. Now I would have to say that Roy Lee was a nice blend of Gator and Ezel from Friday. Not only could the bum entertain us with his dancing capabilities, he was very handy. Yardwork, washing cars, even making mixtapes. Ultra old school style - - on actual cassette tapes. Half of the people who were born after 1988 probably have no idea of what that is but that's another subject.

Thank you Mr. Jackson for providing young people like me an insightful view of the trials and tribulations of an American dopehead.

But in (not so) recent years there has been one sole heir to the Hollywood crack throne. The crackhead from Menace II Society is a prime example of a raw, gritty fiend. Although I've seen the movie about 1,000 times I still don't know his name. Hmm, maybe I'll check the credits next time I watch Cain and O-Dog wrecking shit. I just love the way he can convey his passion for rocks. "Man, I'll suck yo diccckkkk." Now how many of us can say that we ourselves haven't asked our neighborhood dealer that same very question? Or how he offered cheeseburgers in replace of money, smart thinking. Too bad this young man was gunned down before his star could shine.

This is all fiction however. For examples of real life rockheads we must turn to Bobby and Whitney.

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Use don't abuse (ie. adding me to your site's mailing list). And for the love of God please stop sending mp3 files of your music. I am not Clive Davis and to be frank I probably don't want to hear the shit anyway. You should also know that I take my slow, precious time responding to email. And sometimes I don't respond at all. Fresh.crunkjuice@gmail.com



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