It's A Damn Shame / Quick News

When I was five years old I was watching "My Little Ponytails" snacking on gummy bears. Not packing heat. But what was 15 years ago, oh how time's have changed! I remember my Mama checked my Strawberry Shortcake bookbag for notes from the teacher, class assignments, and an occasional reptile. Gang banging in the wolf territory known as kindergarten must be hard these days. We can't knock Lil' Christian (also known as C-Murder) for just trying to survive. His parents should've seen the warning signs a long time ago when he got "Thug Life" tattooed across his stomach while he was rapping "high like space / four five on waist". Now that's certified gangsta!

Some people make me embarassed to say I'm from Georgia. It's bad enough Gucci Mane's "Icy" song gets about 3,000 spins in one hour on local radio stations and he has a video that actually is nationally syndicated. This is one hell of a publicity stunt Gucci. I know you couldn't have possibly came up with this by yourself so I have no other choice but to assume that this is true. If it is, its a crying shame as Ma Dukes would say. In other I'm-ashamed-to-be-from-GA news, Bone Crusher's mortgage payment must be past due. The reason I say this is because he remixed the theme song for The Real Gilligan's Island. I'm saying though!

Like you didn't see this coming. No one should be surprised at all that Star Wars: Episode 83 broke the single day sales record. If you are however you should be immediately taken in the middle of the street and shot at point blank range. The only Star Wars movie I have ever seen was the joint that came out in '99 ('98? shit, something). And the only reason why I did was it was a class trip, free class trip.

"Hello OnStar, hi, yes, my toddler son is trapped inside of my escalade. Oh, by the way, I also have 1,700 pounds of marijuana in there as well".

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Use don't abuse (ie. adding me to your site's mailing list). And for the love of God please stop sending mp3 files of your music. I am not Clive Davis and to be frank I probably don't want to hear the shit anyway. You should also know that I take my slow, precious time responding to email. And sometimes I don't respond at all. Fresh.crunkjuice@gmail.com



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