My Surreal Life : Its Hard Out Here For A Pimp

Normally I don't post about my personal life for various reasons. The main one being that I figured no one really gives a shit so I only tell a handful of people online (my AIM gang) about what's going on in my world. This time I've decided to make an exception and go there with ya'll.

Just don't fall asleep on me.

For those who do not know, I work(ed) at a financial institution aka bank as a teller. Counting other muthafuckas thousands for nine hours every weekday (except Wednesdays, the bank closes at 1 p.m.). Today started off as a normal Friday. I wore my jeans, "official bank shirt", and Pumas to the office as I do on most Friday's. Anyways, our drawers got audited and guess what? Your girl came up $80 short in bait money. Bait money is the money that you give a robber if they're jacking your ass to set off the alarm. It's supposed to have $100 in there but mine only had the $20 that was still under the clip. My guess is that I must've given it away while doing a transaction. Pretty normal shit I thought. One of my white co-workers even told me she had done it before so I didn't think anything of it. Nor did the manager of the bank at the time she was counting my drawer. All she said is that I would be $80 short today, cool.

I'm a pretty honest muthafucka. I don't steal, kill, lie, or anything else. I may talk shit time to time but I would never steal from someone else, let alone my fucking job! So about two hours later I get called into her (manager's) office for an improtu meeting aka firing session. She tells me that since I should've caught the mistake yesterday that it was my fault for not reporting it and also that I was "force balancing". That is saying that you are balanced when you are indeed not. No one ever counts that fucking money! Everyone always assumes that it is in there so I never count it. So if I don't count it, surely the assistant manager at the bank who always counts my drawer after me should've caught my mistake. Ha!

So to make a long story short I got fired today over some bullshit. I know they aren't ever gonna hire another nigga now. I was the only negroid in the entire bank (its only three others in the whole branch system who have been there for years). Do you remember that When Keepin It Real Goes Wrong episode on Chapelle's Show where Vernon goes off? How he secretly feels like an Uncle Tom because he gets along with all of his co-workers. That was my ass!

Of course I was pissed off, shocked, and hurt by all of this. I feel like my integrity has been questioned. In the words of Richard Nixon "I am not a (fucking) crook!". Down with whitey! As I walked into my home from the car it started to pour down raining. It was something out of a damn movie, fo real.

I'm over it though because I know I didn't steal the shit. What I'm going to do with 80 bucks? Buy crack? I just know that this employer will not go on my resume and that I will be finding another bank for my money. Thanks Jon and Prodigal for making me feel better about all of this.

So to continue on in the spirit of bad news, I'm checking my email from the good folks over at The Mindset Army and read this:

TV Guide: So is that it for Chappelle's Show?
Murphy: Chappelle's Show is over, man. Done. It took me a long time to be able to say those words, but I can say it pretty easy now, because it's the truth. There's no way to get around it. It's a new day. I'm disappointed it ended the way it did, but I'm not angry with anybody. Chappelle's Show was like the Tupac of TV shows. It came out, it got everybody's attention, it was a bright shining star, but it burned out and for some strange reason, it burned out quick. The two seasons I acted on that show made me a star. Now I can go out and do stand-up. I'm getting movie offers. It's off the hook. Me getting to the next level or whatever's going to happen is going to come from the next things I do, but Chappelle's Show served its purpose and I'll always be grateful.

What a damn day. There is a silver lining in my cloud of gloom today though. Soli nominated this crunktastic site for the Black Blog Awards (I should really check my email more often, no?). So feed a hungry child in GA and vote [/not really].

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Use don't abuse (ie. adding me to your site's mailing list). And for the love of God please stop sending mp3 files of your music. I am not Clive Davis and to be frank I probably don't want to hear the shit anyway. You should also know that I take my slow, precious time responding to email. And sometimes I don't respond at all. Fresh.crunkjuice@gmail.com



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