Breaking News: Lil Kim Sentenced To Year And A Day
Sing along with me Kimmy, I'm locked up they won't let me out! When I logged on to MTV.com after a long day at the office (I'm finally employed, bitches) and read Lil' Kim Gets A Year And A Day In Prison I did a double take. Could this be true? A celebrity doing actual time?
NEW YORK -- Rapper Lil' Kim was sentenced to a year and a day in prison by Judge Gerard Lynch at Manhattan's U.S. District Court Wednesday afternoon. The rapper was also fined $50,000 and will serve three years' probation after her if sentence. She must turn herself in to authorities on September 19. Hip-hop's Queen Bee -- a nickname bestowed on the diminutive rapper by her ex-boyfriend, the late Notorious B.I.G. -- was facing up to 20 years in prison, but as expected, Lynch's sentence was less severe (see "Lil' Kim Won't Get Maximum Sentence, Expert Predicts"
). Kim wept and held a Bible as she spoke to the judge before her sentencing, according to eyewitnesses. She admitted to her crime (which ruined any chance of appealing the conviction, although the sentence can be appealed) and said she was sorry. "I take full blame for my actions," she said. "It was wrong, and this is the worst thing I've ever been through." The judge lambasted her for being dishonest, saying that her lies were an insult to him and to the court. A statement is expected from her publicist later on Wednesday afternoon (July 6).
This is going to make for a great E! True Hollywood Story. Ma Dukes always told me that a lie was a lie, no matter how important. I basically feel like she got what was coming to her. Oh well! Rather the next nigga than my ass (or Wacko Jacko). Now the issue currently at hand is how is she going to "keep herself up" for a year? You know, with the plastic surgery and all. Jon predicted her breast will start sagging pretty soon. I personally think her cheek implants are going to slowly deteriorate over 12 months. I wonder what in the hell she is going to look like when her ass is released! Another question that looms over my head is will she be able to bring her wig collection to jail? I don't think that would be a good idea if she could . . . be getting shanked for her Beverly Johnson joints. Whatever the case she will have a lot to rap about when she gets out. Or maybe she can do a album behind bars like Shyne. Oh the possibilities.
Use don't abuse (ie. adding me to your site's mailing list). And for the love of God please stop sending mp3 files of your music. I am not Clive Davis and to be frank I probably don't want to hear the shit anyway. You should also know that I take my slow, precious time responding to email. And sometimes I don't respond at all. Fresh.firstname.lastname@example.org
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