Yeah it's that time of year again good people. What better way to bring 2006 in better than a little H.A.M.? Submitted for your approval, Monica's fiance' (husband, baby daddy, sperm donor, whatever) 27th birthday party flicks and a fine example of what not to wear (it's all her fault). Both links have a large amount of bare ass cheeks and H.A.M. like situations so be forewarned.



Mad Skillz' 'The Rap Up - 2005'

So I'm sitting here trying to pimp out my myspace profile, minding my own damn business when Essy sent me this link. This basically sums up everything I wanted to say about this year. You can thank Essy for this one. She saw it first, bitches.

Big Mac, Big Mac, Big Mac. Now where's my check? (ya gotta download the song first to get it)

Big In 05

Since I would be here ALL day (so save your "you forgot so and so") trying to put together an end of the year wrap up post, tell me what was some of your favorite moments/people/things that were big this year.


Hey everybody. I's not dead, I's in Africa. Sorry, I watched The Color Purple last night. Post are probably going to be pretty skim this week. It's the end of the year and nothing is really popping off gossip wise. Now if you have something to talk about my all means hit me up, but my plate is pretty full until the beginning of next year. So if I don't return your email right away don't take it personal baybay. I'm still working on the link section as well.

Cant turn a hoe into a housewife /Hoes dont act right / Theres hoes on a mission, and hoes on a crackpipe / Hey hoe how ya doin, where ya been? / Prolly doin hoe stuff cuz there you hoe again - Ludacris "Ho"

Haha, lemme stop. I can't prove that.

Kevin Federline is the nigga of the year. Let's review the facts:

- He has a tribe of children of all different shades
- He's in the process of working on his debut rap album
- His wife makes more money than he does
- He loves cornrows, wife beaters, and Newports
- He may be unemployed but that nigga still manages to own a Ferrari

Now that's the American dream I'm trying to achieve. It don't get no better.
Did you know he had a myspace profile (although he lost some nigga points by saying 'for real'). Boy stop.


Put You On The Game

Keisha Knight-Pulliam and Dallas Austin keep an eye on the game via courtside seats. The last trend we noticed going around Hollywood was black women dating white men. Now it seems as if little ethnic kids are all the rage. I'm going to have to put one on my Christmas list for next year.

Foxy's Still On It . . .

Rapper Foxy Brown was handcuffed, threatened with jail and made to apologize Friday after she opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue in the direction of a judge who asked her to stop chewing gum.

Judge Melissa Jackson told Brown that she was showing disrespect to the court and had previously been "making faces" at the judge."I don't like her attitude," Jackson told Brown's lawyer Joseph Fleming. Brown, 25, who was in court to plead guilty to a misdemeanor from a ruckus at a nail salon, denied she was chewing gum. But the judge said she believed Brown was.

At that, Brown opened her mouth and wagged her tongue as if to show her mouth was empty. Jackson ordered the rapper handcuffed to the defendants' bench along a courtroom wall. While Brown was being handcuffed, she and a female court officer yelled at each other. Brown shouted that the numerous bracelets and bangles on her left wrist "are in the way," and, the judge said, Brown struck the officer. (continue reading, via nOva slim)

The Official Holiday Vent Post: Christmas Is Ovah!

Get it off your chest, you know you want to. I stole this picture from Eskay since he didn't give me a present. Thanks to everybody who gave me Christmas love ('pecially Saucy Dame Delux for the package). The same back to ya.


Wendy Williams looks HIT. It's no other way to get around it. Why does she look like she has the same thick make-up that morticians put on corpses?

And Mary,
we need to talk.


I've seen a lot of nigga moments in my day but this is right up there "Being Bobby Brown." It's not much I can say about this four minute clip. Keep it skreet!


Bre and Nik are getting their pose on again. They look lovely don't you agree. Oh yeah, Lisa too.

- "Being Bobby Brown" last night was the greatest coon spectacle I have ever witnessed in my lifetime. I'm still having after shocks. How they got all of that mad niggerish footage condensed into 20 minutes amazes me. Bravo indeed, bravo. I don't know where to begin so I'll let my fo'fo Rich do it for me.

- It's been seven years since the passing of Michelle Thomas, who many of you will remember as Myra from "Family Matters" and Theo's girlfriend Justine from "The Cosby Show." Pay tribute by visiting her memorial site, The Michelle Thomas Appreciation Page.

- Old men in the club alert.

- Looks like Al Sharpton's reality television show won't be coming to a small screen near you after all. I'll try not to cry too hard.

- Miss Info and Fresh have cyber beef? Nah.

- Concrete Loop's juicy tidbits.



I'm speechless.
Biggie Duets Party Pictures : : 1 - 2

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Mary J. Blige -- who isn't talking to her sister/manager after she fired her -- probably won't be sending Christmas cards to her many family members this year. But if she did, this is what they would say: "They'll be mad at me, but it's the truth -- they were angry, hateful, jealous, ignorant, prideful people. My aunts were very, very mean people. I didn't want to be like that," she told London's Guardian. And don't get her started on Mom.

"It might be that she's living vicariously through me, but I believe she's gotten real bitter about it," says Blige. "It's probably why we've never really got along. Even as a child, she was a little rough on me, because on top of my father leaving, I was singing as a child, and it was what she wanted but she didn't use it. She didn't have the courage to use it." And you thought your family was tense during the holidays.
Source: Ny Daily News

- He's no K-Fed, but recently dismissed Desperate Housewives cellar dweller Page Kennedy is following in Mr. Spears' media-hatin' musical footsteps. The actor has released a rap track, "Hold On," via his Website, chronicling his hiring and rapid firing from the ABC mega-hit over an alleged flashing incident on the set.

Kennedy's song starts off harmlessly enough, with the actor rapping about his excitement over his new status as a Wisteria Lane resident: "Best show on the air/Best show in America/ That's right, Page is right there...25 million viewers a week/25 million connoisseurs that'll speak highly of me." (continue reading)

Just like nOva said, everybody is a rapper now. Check out the "hotness. "

- Ashanti will star alongside Sophia Bush and Brittany Snow in a movie called "John Tucker Must Die."
Check out a couple pictures from the film and the story line. Looks like another "In The Mix" in my opinion. Thanks Wilson for the information.

Bonus Material

After watching the second half of "Jeff Johnson Chronicles: Sex & Hip Hop" last night (why did they air one 10 minute segment twice?) I came to a new found respect for the artists/models that appear in "UnCut" videos. What the hell am I talking about? Alright, lemme break it down.

When the video for Styles P's new joint premiered on "Direct Effect"I told the Dealer that the only reason why Styles P had attractive females in the video was because he had to take the attention off of his ugly ass. At least in a video for MC Such-n-Such his hoes got stab wounds and skrectch (not stretch) marks. In some strange and twisted way I've come appreciate that.

Let's face it, if these entertainers were regular dudes on the block they would not be pulling down dimes. So I decided to play celebrity matchmaker. I know I left out tons of ugmo rappers but I wanted to see what you guys could come up with.


As you can see things are slowly changing around here. Gimme a little time. I'm trying to enjoy my holiday season too! Moving along, Rolling Stone just released their list of the top 50 albums in 2005. Mr. Whiney Pants came in first place. Here is a list of the *ahem* melanin-rich artists (and a few white ones) who made topped the list.

Wait, no DL4?! Oh my gosh!

1. Kanye West, Late Registration
10. 50 Cent, The Massacre
16. John Legend, Get Lifted 21. Common, Be
25. Young Jeezy, Let's Get It: Thug Motivation 101
27. Stevie Wonder, A Time to Love
29. Franz Ferdinand, You Could Have It So Much Better (I fucks with Franz)
34. Paul Wall, The Peoples Champ
37. Missy Elliott, The Cookbook
43. Mariah Carey, The Emancipation of Mimi
44. Daddy Yankee, Barrio Fino
49. Damian Marley, Welcome to Jamrock

You know its not easy being a female emcee. Lil' Kim in jail, Foxy is going deaf, Trina can't spell, Eve thinks she can act . . . it's just all fucked up. Who shall we call to the rescue?


Queen Pen! Damn homie, I haven't seen the queen since I was in junior high! 2005 has mos def been the comeback (attempt) year.

Anyway, earlier today while I was watching "Steve Harvey" (shut it) and I saw a commercial for a show called "Daisy Does America." At first I thought it was a reality series of a white chick's exploits across the U.S.A. in the porn industry, but I think its actually a show about a British woman traveling America to learn more about the cultures here, no? I wouldn't know since I've never watched it. This week Daisy makes her way down to the ghetto. The show airs at 10 pm tonight and it looks like it should be pretty interesting.

Wait, while I'm on the subject of white people I have a question. Why do white people love green bean casserole so much? I was at a pot luck a few months ago and a few of my former co-workers bitches! were about to fight each other over the last scoop of it. Green bean casserole = the white man's collard greens?

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Kanye, Sean Paul, Ludacris, Chris Brown and other artists came out to z100's Jingle Ball on December 16. As always Kanye was a fierce bitch, or at least he thought so. I can see that boy posing in the mirror getting his Zoolander on. Jay-Z and Rhianna were in the building to lend their support to 'Ye. Although I wasn't able to attend something tells me I would've had to cut a bitch inside the venue. You can check out tons of pictures from both the show and backstage over at z100.com

- Last night the Radio Music Awards aired on NBC. I opted not to watch the entire show since award show season this year has severely depressed me. In the short amount of time I did tune in I caught Mariah taking home another award (you ever notice how most big names decide not to show up for these shows but Mariah's ass is at every single one), Mary J. performing her new hit, and Uncle Ciara presenting. Anybody else wtch the show out?

- Barely Entertainint Television recorded their New Year's Eve "106 and Party" special last week. The glamorest one Trina along with Eightball, MJG, Young Buck, Three 6 Mafia, every other nigga in Tenakey, Keyshia Cole, Lil' Flip, Chamillionaire, David Banner, Queen Latifah, Remy Ma, Juelz Santana, and countless other negras came out to enjoy the festivities. I'm sure there was a plethora of H.A.M. Check em out. Speaking of BET, why do the participants on "Remix" still looked fucked up after the makeover? Ah well, don't forget that part two of "The Jeff Johnson Chronicles: Sex and Hip Hop" airs tonight at 7:30 p.m. (et/pt).


There's no need to go on "Larry King Live" complaining. You LOST.


Lord H.A.M. Mercy

Funeral services were held this weekend for the legendary Richard Pryor. Fellow comedians Mike Epps and Mo'Nique (along with her King Kong legs) were among the many faces who came out to celebrate the life of the deceased legend. I don't know why they let Auntie Diana out of the house looking like the wicked witch from the west. Peep the girl in the background expression, haha. That pretty much says it all. Diana is too old to be an attention whore, plain and simple. Now I would expect this type of behavior from her friend Wacko Jacko but not her.

Don't forget that "The Funniest Man Dead Or Alive" airs tonight at 7:30 p.m. (et/pt) on BET. Dave Chappelle, Chris Tucker, and Steve Harvey along with others will pay homage to Pryor's comedic greatness.

Rumor Control

Yesterday I received an tip from my girl Jaden that model Vida Guerra now works out of Miami for an Atlanta based escort service. The email contained a link to an escort site called Britneysplace.com and I decided to check it out for myself. If you scroll down to the name "Angelina" you will clearly see (possibly NSFW) two photographs featuring Ms. Guerra. Now I highly doubt that Vida has resorted to slutting herself out for $850.00 per hour. My theory is that the brains behind the website posted the picture of her only to get potential clients biting. However this is the Superhead era so you never know.

I've never been a big fan of Olivia. For whatever reason her whole image just screams transvestite. Anyways, Rizoh hooked me up with some before and after pictures of the first lady of G-Unit. Look like she grew some breast when she joined 50 at the candy shop. Gotta sell that laffy taffy! Oh well, you see her little spread in King did nothing for her album sales. Her shit got pushed back further than Mary J. Blige's hairline on the cover of Vibe.



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- Usher is hanging out with Tom and Katie at Scientology fundraisers ya'll. Its official, that nigga is due to go crazy next year.

- Whitney and Bob-bay are making headlines again, after being named the Tackiest Couple of 2005. Star magazine conducted a poll of more than 35,000 readers, who placed the couple at the top mainly because of their antics on the reality show Being Bobby Brown. Those people don't know what they are talking about. Bobby Brown made "Tenderoni" nigga. Roni.

Top 10 Tackiest Couple in 2005

1. Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown
2. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes
3. Britney Spears and Kevin Federline
4. Flavor Flav and Brigitte Nielsen
5. Jude Law and Sienna Miller
6. Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson
7. Ice-T and Nicole 'Coco' Austin (should've been number one)
8. Mischa Barton and Cisco Adler
9. Paris Hilton and Paris Latis
10. Star Jones Reynolds and Al Reynolds

- Who are these three chicks looking like they just got the hook up at Citi Trends? Why it's Paul Wall's wife (in the middle) and her girls collectively known as Velvet Ice. Now doesn't that name remind you of a Prince song? Anyhow, you can check them out at their official website (they need to be getting at Huny because that site looks a mess) to listen to a clip of their song "I'm In Love." It doesn't actually sound that bad but for a full blown mess listen to "911". I'm on fire, I'm on fiyah!

- I forgot all about the premiere of Beyonce's video for "Check Up On It" last night so I decided to take a peek at the video today on Launch. I liked the opening seconds when the theme music from "The Pink Panther" blended into a bass-ridden track (I betcha somebody from Swisha House is going to rhyme over that real soon if they haven't already). As Slim Thug (who looks a lot like Frankenstein) started to rap his verse standing in front of the pink backdrop, the scene from 'Gold Digger' where 'Ye is looking over his shoulder doing that "neck thing" that my Dealer and I hate immediately popped into my head. The rest of the clip plays out like a 4- minute long Cover Girl commercial filled with a lot of ass shaking eye candy and wind-in-hair moments . . . which means it's probably going to be the number one video on 106 & Park soon. Check up on it yourself.

- Hell has officially frozen over! A black man won on "The Apprentice" ? Next thing you know they'll give us the right to vote.


Don't Watch Me, Watch TV

After watching the reunion show on ANTM in disgust (more on that later), I had the immense (sarcasm) pleasure of viewing "BET'S Christmas Memories" special last night. Young (and horny) R&B newcomer Trey Songz took over the hosting duties of the hour long festivities which featured leftover R&B stars like Bobby Valentino, Marques Houston, Jaheim and Lyfe Jennings (whom music I actually dig). Real talk though, what's up with that nigga's facial hair? That shit looks scary as hell. Now if his mustache looks like that imagine how the rest of his body hair looks . . .

Anyway, I've always though that the concept of grown and sexy Christmas music was rather corny. I don't know about you but nothing about "Frosty the Snowman" gets me in the mood.

So who do you call to come save the day when Beyonce's calendar is full? Ashanti! After presenting Trey with a gift bag that included her new fragrance Warm Piss, urgh, Precious Jewel, and a
Delicious Curves CD, Shani went on to perform cheesy Christmas ballads. To say that Ashanti's performance was mediocre at best would be a compliment and I'm not in the business of spreading lies (wait, actually I am huh?). So I'm going to be truthful with you; I've heard cats in alleys who could harmonize better than that child. Damn, take the studi enhancement away from that girl and she sounds like me singing in the shower. But hey, I didn't expect her to sound any better than what she did so whatever.

America's Next Top Model's reunion show was everything that I expected it to be: boring, lame, and uninformative. Now if I was someone who was without internet access I might feel differently but since I'm not I would have to say that the interviews with the girls didn't tell me anything that I already didn't know. I could call them out on so many things but I'll just fall back and let
Rich handle his bidness. Speaking of ANTM, looks who's doing her thing.

My "up Nawf" people why ya'll didn't tell me the Ludameister aired Oprah out on Hot 97? Yup, from what I hear Chris Lova Lova (who remembers them days?) told Angie Martinez that when he appeared on her show along with the rest of the cast from the film Crash Oprah gave him a lot of shit. He said that Oprah suggested that Luda as an emcee was like a KKK member. Wow. Anyway, Luda let it be known that he did clap back at Oprah about her comments only to have them edited out of the show. Ay yi yi. I remember watching that particular episode too and I could see the frustration on his face.


click here

This is of course a pop culture site but every now and then something special happens. This is one of those moments. Good night and God bless.

Happy Holidays!

I'm not Oprah or anything but here's something for you all to enjoy. Pass it around like a fruit cake. Kanye and I would like to say thank you to Butta.

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Yesterday "The Cousin Jeff Chronicles: Sex & Hip Hop" special aired on BET. I could sit and give my two cents about the show and its subject but I would be on here typing all day (ask Hashim). Anyways, the show took a behind the scenes look at casting for a Dip Set Remy Ma video. Jim Jones told casting directors loudly that "Wherever Pharrell get his bitches from that's where ya'll better get my bitches from." Then he proceeded to walk past a chick and say something to the affect of "Just like this bitch, that's what I'm talking about" and she smiled and him and kept walking to the video set. Mad niggerish.

- No, these aren't two homeless men posing in a picture along with Chris Spencer, supposedly its Paul Mooney's twin sons. Can you see the resemblance? All three of them have 3,000 teeth in their mouth so I wouldn't rule the possible paternity out quite yet.

- OK! magazine spoke with Ashanti in a Q&A and asked the singer if she hopes to get married and have kids one day. "Absolutely," she responded. "I love kids, I definitely want to get married and have an army of children." But is the father likely to be Nelly? Apparently not. "Nah, I'm not dating anyone," she said. "We're good friends. We're cool. He's a good guy, a funny guy."

- Jamie Foxx celebrated his birthday last week along with Snoop Dogg, The Game, Angie Stone, and Mike Tyson at his Hollywood Hills estate. Word on the street is that he was spotted getting close to Rashida Jones, who is the legendary Quincy Jones' daughter. I almost forgot to mention that T.O. also celebrated his birthday recently. As usual there was plenty of H.A.M. to pass around the 40/40 Club.

"Those girls' dreams are destined to never come true." - Rich (who is the owner of Winston, BTW)

- Vivica A. Mess needs your prayers. Seriously. Lauryn Hill too.




Honey Baked H.A.M. (I got 1,000 of em)

When my Mama was knocked up with me she was rocking a jheri curl (I had to say that) and had talked my Pops into naming me Sharetha. When I think about that I look towards the heavens and mouth "thank you." So as you probably gathered Ma Dukes is a big fan of Aretha Franklin so when I emailed her these pictures this morning she quickly replied back saying "she doesn't have to look sloppy like that." Word to my mother.

Yet another example that there is life for H.A.M.'s past the age of 50. This shit has got be a joke. I refuse to believe that she let herself walk out the house rocking that. And Patti is my girl and all but she looking kinda suspect too. Control them titties!

Anyway, last week I was emailed a link to a blog titled Bitter Vibes. Peep:

When I got to work Friday morning I wondered why it bothered me that Angie is leaving. When I thought twice about it, I realized she was just as fake as the rest of the people there. Her shameless ass kissing of Mimi was almost worse than Shani and Yani's. Is that even possible? Do you think Mimi's ass is sore from the ass kissing?If you could have seen the staff at Angie's send off. Shameless. Shameless. Shameless. Speaking of Mimi, why does that grown ass woman dress like a man? She is not a bad looking lady but come on now. You are the Editor in Chief of a magazine. Don't you think you should look clean at least one day out of the week?

Damn homie! I hope whoever the mystery employee is doesn't get fired. Its just their thoughts and opinions ladies and gentlemen. I never realized that blogs could be so much drama until talking to one of my AIM homies who was fired from a job she had over her online journal. Do you think that companies have the right to do that? Holla back.


Quick Follow-Up

Friday I posted a link to some video footage of some random ass chick from falling off stage. Well my Norweigian (yup you read that right) homie Anja hooked me up with some information on the chick. Her name is Mira Craig. As you can see she is a very attractive young lady...just kinda on the slower side of things if you asked me. Thanks again for the email Anja :) C+D viewers are some of the best people in the world I swear.

Anyways, I still don't know rather to laugh or be concerned. And while I'm here Ciara needs an intervention like right now.


Ladies we've all been here before. Its Ladies' Night at your favorite spot and your right hand is up and the left got a cup. "Yo song" starts to play over the speakers and you head directly to the dance floor singing/rapping the lyrics when all of the sudden some greasy, sweaty, fawn-key ass, ran.dumb nigga starts trying to grind on you from behind. He then whispers in your ear with his hawt bref (yes, bref) "Um guhl, whatchu name is?"


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It's been a pretty busy weekend for your folk. I've been working on a couple of new things for C&D that I will hopefully have up before 2006, but don't quote me. My schedule is frickin' ridiculous. I gotta get better at this posting on the weekend thing.


Nelly, Usher, and Monica all came out for Jermaine Dupri's Hurricane Relief Benefit event in Atlanta last week. Diamonds, champagne, celebrities and boomin' beats...Jermaine Dupri is in the House! Last night Atlanta lived up to its reputation as being the entertainment Mecca of the South. Homegrown international star Jermaine Dupri showed up with close friends Nelly, Usher and Monica to support a private event for Hurricane Relief at House of Cartier. Invited guests walked a security-clad red carpet and entered House of Cartier which was literally transformed into an exclusive party palace by the legendary Tony Conway - black hanging drapes, passed hor d'voures, Cartier champagne and a thumping DJ made the event a classy, fly-casual affair. (continue reading)

Last time we ran into Al his wifey was giving him one painful looking lap dance. Its nice to see him smiling again. And I think I know why. Guess who else showed up to the party.


Now I respect my elders and all but enough is enough. A picture is worth 1,000 words so I need not say anything. And take Gloria Velez with you.

Finally, Cam'ron is this shit really necessary? I don't think so. Someone needs to shoot this nigga in the arm again. He better be careful before he dies of OG...over gold! (I know ya'll remember that from I'm Gonna Git You Sucka)

Now excuse me as I prep to play Santa for mi familia. Since the wrapping paper is thin as heck (dollar store niggas!) I'm going to need to concentrate.


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The one-hour long season finale of Making The Band aired last night. Yes gang no longer will we hear "boom, kat, boom, kat kat" on the 10 Spot Thursday nights, cry me a river. On a side note did ya'll know that Lorrie Ann was a Flyy Girl on In Living Color? I sure as hell didn't until I saw her dancing around in some acid washed jeans last night on BET. Anyways, instead of complaining about the group of girls he selected I have another bone to pick.

Miss Jones from Hot 97 fame officially pissed me off last night. I know that she is known for her gritty interview style and that Diddy wanted to give the girls a taste of what they would have to endure by people who talk smack about them but my goodness. Jonesy looked like a damn fool when she was about to crack on ol' girl from New Orleans outfit until she realized that Hurricane Katrina took every thing from he family. Then she tried to flip the script to and started showering the girl with praises. Hoe sit down. Speaking of which . . .


Ah hem. Tyra and all of the girls from this season along with some familiar faces from panel were all at The Avalon out in La La Land to celebrate the season finale of America's Next Top Model Wednesday night. Coryn (who actually looked like she was born with a vagina!) and Ebony (I'm so glad those braids are gone...it wasn't a good look) were way more lovely in those flicks than on the show in my opinion. Like I told the Dealer, just because you don't win the entire competition doesn't mean a damn thing. Please believe this isn't the last time we're going to see any of the girls. Winner or loser the show provided them all with one vital thing, exposure.

Check out what Rich had to say about this whole debacle.

Fresh's Two Cents

As I watched the video for "Be Without You" last night a light bulb in my head turned on. The media always gives Madonna credit on being the mother of reinvention but never seem to mention Mary J. Blige. Mary has had more hairstyles than a drag queen in Las Vegas over the past decade and a half. With every new album that she drops a new look always accompanies it. I think she has the Material Girl beat. You be the judge. Either way Mary has been too strong for too long to let these new chicks try to even attempt to put their paws on her crown.

Dumbass Fugees Opening Act Gets Dissed By Stage Dive

The Fugeess really love their Norwegian fans. Not only did the band reunite and kick off their world tour in Scandinavia, they also provided some fine comedic relief by the way of one of their opening acts. The nameless chick had delusions of grandeur when she thought the best way to end her set was to take a flying leap off of the stage and land into the arms of her adoring fans. Sadly all the people attending the sold out show were there for the Fugees only, not to catch some no name nobody. Listen closely to the THUD!!! as the crowd parts and then the aarrrggghhh.... as she lands on the cold cement floor- and then the customary laughing as the crowd acknowledges her stupidity. That must have been a really shameful walk back to the artist lounge. Warning: You have to suffer through a few seconds of screaming before the event- Sorry. (via Gossipish.com)

Click here to watch. That bitch thought she was on that kryptonite.

+ Jay-Z and Beyonce marriage rumor (please ignore the ignorant comments)


zoom in: 1 - 2

When I saw that shit right there "Eye of the Tiger" started playing in my head, no shit. Normally when I see funny stuff on the computer I may let out a little chuckle. But when I saw this I grabbed my stomach and started rocking back and fourth like Sophia at the dinner table in The Color Purple. As you can see I added a butterfly (hell he was missing everything but one). You can blame this high quality mess on Es.

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Sorry about the late post gang. I was tied up at the last minute.

Jay-Z took a break from his job as Beyonce's purse watcher and was honored along with Mariah Carey for outstanding work that embodies excellence and intergrity at The Recording Academy Honors last night. Speaking of awards, the nominations for the Grammy's were announced today. Artists reading nominations this morning included Natasha Bedingfield, Big & Rich, Mariah Carey, Chad Kroeger (Nickelback), Patti LaBelle, John Legend, Carly Simon, Sway (I'm not putting his name in bold, sorry), and CeCe Winans. Kanye West and Mariah Carey (surprise surprise) topped list with eight nominations while 50 Cent, Beyonce, and Alicia Keys received six nominations each. Ludacris, Mario, John Legend, Common, T.I., Ying Yang Twins, Destiny's Child, Yolonda Adams, and Stevie Wonder are just a few of the many artist who were also nominated.

Of course I have a beef with a few of the nominees, one especially being The Black Eyed Peas who were nominated for the song "Don't Phunk With My Heart" in the Best Rap Performance By A Duo Or Group category. What in the hell have the people at the Academy been smoking? They might as well put that fucking "Humps" song on there. At any rate the show will air Wednesday, Feb. 8 on CBS.

Click here for the full nomination list.

- Rod tipped me off this morning that in the new issue of Complex magazine Usher denies gay rumors in his cover story interview. When asked if any homosexual activities went down in those oh so famous orgies everyone's heard about Usher had this to say:

There was women-on-women but never man-on-man. Shit, nowhere near that! Hell no! No one that I ever roll with or would ever roll with would get down like that.

Yeah fuckin' right! Rod breaks it down so damn good about everything from anal action to relationship rumors with a trainer in ATL that I'm not going to even going to attempt to put my own twist on it. Lets just say that I was left clutching my pearls like Miss Jay.

- Ashanti has been making moves like Lil' Kim before her trip to the big house. Murder Inc's first lady has taken a break from performing at Bat Mitvahs to promote her new CD. She's been popping up every place from 106 and Park to Regis and Kelly. Yesterday she appeared on TRL along with Dip Set enthusiast Lindsay Lohan. Shanti then partied the night away with pal Ja Rule, that kid from The Ultimate Hustler who looks like Shock G, and T-Pain. No comment on any of the aforementioned.

Busta Rhymes also made an appearance on TRL looking sick. Not the good sick but the "you got some 'Tussin I can borrow" sick.


- The beautiful and talented Angela Bassett along with her actor hubby Courtney B. Vance is expecting twins (a girl and a boy) next month via a surrogate mother. Bassett told Essence magazine "I thought I would have the option to bear children in my forties as long as I was healthy and took care of myself, but I don't. My body decided what it was going to do. I was unable to carry, but there are other ways you can have children."

- Naomi Campbell whispered in Chris Tucker's ear and told him some shit he didn't want to hear.

- There's a lot of recording going on at the Brown household. Bobby Brown, wife Whitney Houston and their kids are all recording albums of their own, according to Bobby, who simply described his effort as taking it back to the top. "My sound is Bobby Brown, I don't change for nobody." (

- Billbored? Hardly. Damn I love Rich.

- Finally, someone please tell Mariah to give it up already. Every time you turn around this woman is trying to exude sexiness but ends up looking like a damn fool in the process. (via
Socialite Life spotted by Mr. Irreverent) Also be sure to check out D. Penn's tribute to Mariah, a tragic mulatto.

Oh yeah
I haven't peeped the season finale of ANTM yet but I've heard the news. I have no words.

Last night I played double dutch with my remote with BET and Fox as I attempted to watch The Ultimate Hustler and the Billboard Awards simultaneously. I wasn't able to dedicate as much time on Fox but I did catch a few moments that left me with the gas face.

- Uncle Ciara isn't as dope as people make her out to be. Without a doubt one of the most overrated artists in 2005. I think she did look nice though.

- Gwen Stefani rocked the crowd with her temporary ghetto pass dangling from her neck along with Slim Thug, who looked we.tall.did as usual. Needless to say the performance was not luxurious like Egyptian cotton.

- Kanye's acceptance speech started off as a heartfelt speech about his 90 year old Grandmother and quickly turned into another egotistical rant. But hey that's what we've come to expect out of him.

- Fresh from his national anthem (you gotta see that shit for yourself) performance, R.Kelly slow wined with some young ladies and then performed his Hurricane Katrina single at the end of the show. The icing on the cake was when he put his lighter up. You would've thought Richard Pryor was on the screen the way I bursted out laughing.

Anyways, The Ultimate Hustler has become my Tuesday main staple. As much shit as I may pop about Dame (mostly his wife) I must say that his antics are very entertaining to follow. Ray was booted from the show and I wasn't shocked at all. His rude, lying ways finally did him in. The season finale will air next week and the Ultimate Hustler will be announced.

+ Usher bomb hits Lions Gate profits via n0va slim, who always keeps me up on the latest in Hollywood!

+ Ashanti and Uncle Ciara need to shut it


Fresh to deaf my ass! This shit screams 3rd grade art techer at the school Christmas play. Why is Kanye walking around in Donda's sweater? On second thought maybe Jim Jones was right.

Edit: So I went on a manhunt for pictures of 'Ye in this hideous sweater. Couldn't help myself. Anyways, check ya boy out. He reminds me of my little cousin when he dresses up like a super hero and stands in front of the mirror reciting lines from X-Men.

Freshly Squeezed

The Fugees' tour kicked off this past weekend as Ms. Hill and the gang performed in Europe beginning in Helsinkki, Finland. The Fugees' upcoming album drops early in 2006. Please do not ask me what is going on with Ms. Hill's outfit because I do not know.

Collectables by Ashanti is in stores today. The CD contains four brand spankin new tracks including "I Love You", "Show You", and "Found It In You." Plus other shits including "Rock Wit U (Awww Baby) and a remix to "Only U" featuring Juelz Santana. I didn't know having one hot song gives you a base to put out a collectable CD. I just think its funny that most of her songs include variations of the word you in it. Tne question still remains. Who gets on it better?

Ashanti "Still On It" / Beyonce "Check Up On It"

In my opinion Swisha House is the winner again. Them Texas boys been everywhere this year.

+ K.Fed to perform at the Billboard Awards tonight? That's the rumor. He is said to perform his new single "Y'all Ain't Ready." You damn right we ain't.


I'm Buying Inga A Mirror For Christmas

Rapper Foxy Brown is almost totally deaf, her lawyer said Monday. Attorney Joseph Tacopina disclosed Brown's hearing problem after a question about why they exchanged notes while waiting in Manhattan Criminal Court for her case to be called on an unresolved 2004 assault charge. "She's pretty much totally deaf now," Tacopina said. "She can't hear me. We have to write things back and forth. Anything I have to communicate with her now has to be written." Brown, 25, revealed during a court appearance in September that she would soon undergo surgery to try to correct her hearing. Obviously straining to hear questions, she refused to discuss the possible cause of the problem. Tacopina said Monday the prognosis from that surgical procedure is still undetermined, but "hopefully it (the condition) is reversible. She has to undergo another surgery."

Meanwhile, Judge Melissa Jackson adjourned Brown's case until Dec. 23 when, Tacopina said, he expects it will be resolved. Brown, whose real name is Inga Marchand, is charged with misdemeanor assault, attempted assault and harassment.Brown has rejected at least two misdemeanor plea deals that would have let her avoid any jail time for allegedly assaulting two nail salon workers on Aug. 29, 2004, in a fight over payment for a manicure at Bloomie Nails in Manhattan's Chelsea district. Prosecutors alleged that Brown, with a cell phone clutched in her closed fist, attacked and kicked one worker, and hit a second worker in the face. Under the proposed plea deal, Brown would have pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and served 10 days of community service. "I'm innocent," Brown said at the time. "I feel like I'm being railroaded." (continue reading at Yahoo via Mr. Irreverent)

+ Mary J. Blige to star in biopic on Nina Simone

+ Ether Day 2005

+ Lindsay Lohag on the prowl again

Freshly Squeezed

- To say that the Big in 05 Awards was a disappointment would be a compliment. Over the past couple months we all have come to expect the worst for award show ceremonies. From Fat Joe/G-Unit's certified sissy fight at the VMA's to BET's never ending coon spectacle, this year's award show season has left a taste in our mouth as bitter as Bobby Brown's feets (feets!). On the other hand I've grown a penchant for beautiful train wrecks. So yes I tuned in to see B. Brown make a mockery out of himself. So the fuck what? I'll post some pictures from the show later.

All hope wasn't lost this past Sunday night however. 'The Boondocks' came to the rescue during Adult Swim thank heavens. This week's episode wasn't my absolute favorite but it did include a big "did you hear that shit?" moment. A line from the ghetto classic 'Meance II Society' was dropped if you paid close attention. Anybody else hear it?

- Beyonce brought the usually reserved crowd in Washington to their feet Sunday night as she paid tribute to Tina Turner who was one of five recipients of this year's Kennedy Center Honors. As one half of Bey-Z strutted across the stage performing Tina's 1971 hit single 'Proud Mary' sporting a gown once owned by the singer the crowd which included conservative politicians, musicians, and actors groove to the music. The Kennedy Center Honors will be air on December 27 on CBS. You can check the rest of the mess out at Getty.

- Ladies and gentlemen, Shai.

- 2005 must be the year of the bad cover. Is it just me or does Jay look constipated again?

- While you are in the clicking mood go see your girl at work. I guess you can say that I'm moving on up in the world.


Just A Reminder

By now everyone should know its usually dead around this joint on the weekend but I'm always willing to make an exception for special people. You can catch Bobby and other people who had us going nuts this year on VH1's Big in 05 Awards. In the meanwhile enjoy the "America's Next Top Model" marathon until the show.

Happy Berfday Young Hov. Isn't he like 47 today?


You thought I forgot about ya today huh? As you can see I'm working on a new look. It's not easy being the fifth baddest bitch in America.

- Ashanti, Donald Trump, Star and Al (aka my two moms), Quincy Jones, P.Diddy and Naomi Campbell among the stars who came out in support of "The Color Purple" opening on Broadway. If you tuned in to watch Beyonce's interview on Oprah's show a few weeks back you were able to catch a glimpse of two of the performances. The singing and acting was super on the shows so I know that the musical will be go on to do great things. Check out some of the pictures. Speaking of Oprah she stopped by David Letterman last night to squash whatever beef they had. First Jay-Z and Nas now this?! I'm trying to figure out though what's going on with Oprah and Gayle. I'm sorry but I think they are some down low sisters. I'm just sayin.

- Oscar Winner Denzel Washington says all is well in his marriage to his wife Pauletta. He says there is no trouble at home. A few weeks ago, it was reported that he was not living at home with his wife. Sources say he was not living at home because he was researching a new movie role. But, there was also talk of a rumored romance and mystery baby with another actress. Denzel says he and Pauletta are doing fine. They were together yesterday, today and will be together tomorrow. Denzel made sure to get me this message, and I have heard you Mr. Washington, loud and clear. The Washington household is fine. (via Patty Jackson)

- Oh hell to the nah! The Reverend Al Sharpton in talks to star in his own sitcom for CBS, to be called "Al in the Family", Daily Variety reports.

- Our little Skateboard P is in love. These two look like they belong in a high school yearbook with the caption "cutest couple" under it. Isn't that sweet? [ /sappy]

- I know this is coming out of left field but is it just me or does Kanye's mascot give you the creeps too? Between that fucking bear and "the King" from Burger King I don't know who is more weird.

Oh yeah, Curtis? When skinny white wannabe model chicks start rocking your shit that should be a HUGE sign that you are about to go into M.C. Hammer over exposure territory.


pictures Freshly Squeezed

- El Presidente Carter is one busy dude.When he's not front row at a Nets game in all his splendor (you liked how I worked that one in there didn't you) you can find Young Hov at the Murder Inc trial along with Russell Simmons and Ty Ty. At first glance it does look like he's been shopping in Diddy's closet but he does pull off this look. On a side note I would just like to say that Getty pisses me off sometimes. If you look at the text under the picture hey have Jigga listed as "Def Jam artist." Give the man a little credit, geez.


- Eva's birthday bash brought out more familiar faces that I initially thought. These two always seem to pop up places I would least expect them to. There was one face missing from the action however, Henry Simmons. I thought the Diva was supposed to be engaged but her and "Guest" looked more like a couple than just friends to me.


- Damn its been quite sometime since I've last seen Camille from "America's Next Top Model" Season Two. Some of you might remember her as being the resident black bitch on the show but I always thought she was fierce. I remember about a year ago while I was battling a round of insomnia I decided to turn to BET and look at a "classic" episode of "Da Bassment." As the clip for "Hey Ma" played I immediately noticed Camille playing the back.


- Alicia Keys and Bono are hoping to save the lives of children through song. The two superstars have collaborated on "Don't Give Up (Africa)" and will donate all proceeds to Keep A Child Alive. The song will be available exclusively on iTunes starting Tuesday. The pair first sang the tune together at a Nov. 3 fund-raiser in NYC for the charity. "I love this song. And I love Bono. I really respect what he has done for Africa and how he has used his fame to do good in the world. I hope I can do half as much in my life", Keys, a global ambassador for the charity, said in statement Wednesday. "I believe AIDS is the most important issue we face, because how we treat the poor is a reflection of who we are as a people. I urge everyone to recognize the extreme disaster Africa is facing and step up for the Motherland". Click here to visit Keep A Child Alive.

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Use don't abuse (ie. adding me to your site's mailing list). And for the love of God please stop sending mp3 files of your music. I am not Clive Davis and to be frank I probably don't want to hear the shit anyway. You should also know that I take my slow, precious time responding to email. And sometimes I don't respond at all. Fresh.crunkjuice@gmail.com



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